We hear it all the time: you must take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. And yet, this advice is ignored so often. How many relationships have fallen apart because someone violated this single maxim?
I’ve certainly destroyed a few by failing to heed it.
But now the stakes are too high. I have a business. I have a wife. I have children. I have a house to maintain. I have land to maintain. I cannot afford to go off the rails. When I do go off the rails: things fall apart, time is wasted, and I have to dig myself back out of a hole. The pattern can’t continue like that.
I have to take care of myself because so many other things depend on me being in tip-top shape.
So what do I actually need?
- Time to work on the business so that I can support myself and the people who depend on me
- Time to work outside – to prepare the yard, produce food for my family, get some sweet vitamin D, and to refresh my spirit by spending time in the boundless beauty of nature
- Time to work out so I can maintain my physical fitness, reduce stress, and improve my thinking
- Time for meditative hobbies: bonsai, growing mushrooms, and playing music. Excellent outlets to cultivate learning, focus, intensity, absorption, and beauty.
- Time to write: to express myself creatively, reflect, ponder, and document
These are the activities that I need most of all to feel grounded in my own being. And when my body and mind are nourished and refreshed, I am capable of helping others.
The next task is to make sure that I am actually making time for each of these crucial self-care activities each week. Of course, there are many time pressures with a family and a business. That is no excuse. Self-care has to come first, or else I am a ticking time bomb.