Jocko Willink made a comment roughly along these lines in a podcast episode (which one, I failed to note).
The only person you are allowed to be aggressive and straightforward with is yourself.
Being aggressive to others is not a good tactic. It does not work; it only makes people enemies.
Be covert and use influence.
This makes me think of my younger self – he was definitely guilty of being aggressive and straightforward with others. I can confirm that, as Jocko says, it does not work. In the best case, such an attitude results in intimidation. In the worst case, fear. Neither leads to an endpoint of being effective. Even in cultures that claim to operate in an aggressive spirit, this type of approach only serves to build enemies.
Play the game, even if it seems painful or offensive to you. Building up relationship capital is the best path to success in your interpersonal endeavors.
Powerful reminder! True growth starts with holding yourself accountable. Embracing Extreme Ownership sharpens self-discipline and empowers leaders to take charge of every outcome: https://echelonfront.com/books/extreme-ownership/