Tides of War

Author: Steven Pressfield
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: September 2014

Quick Summary: Another novel in Steven Pressfield’s historical series – this one focuses on the  Peloponnesian War and the historical figure Alcibiades.  The novel is again told through the eyes of a minor character, an Athenian soldier fighting in the war.  Other historical characters make an appearance, including Lysander, Socrates, and Pericles.  

Alcibiades is a prime example of an individual who was brought down by his own ego.  Ego is your enemy, remember that.

Further Reading: The Virtues of War, Gates of Fire

My Highlights

Men hate nothing worse than that mirror held before them whose reflection displays their own failure to prove worthy of themselves. –loc 273

“Banish all thought of retreat, brothers. No avenue remains but to advance, and no alternative save victory or death.” –loc 396

Experience teaches that however numerous the brigade or army, the work of war is performed by small units, and each must possess to be effective one man like Lion who is unacquainted with fear, who arises cheerful each morning despite all hardship, ready to shoulder another’s load with a laugh and turn his hand to all tasks, however mean or humble. A unit lacking a man like Lion will never endure, while one with such a mate may be beaten but never broken. –loc 449

A beautiful woman is in the same fix. She cannot but perceive herself as two creatures—the private soul known to her intimates and that external proxy presented to the world by her good looks. The attention she receives may be gratifying to her vanity, but it is empty and she knows it. –loc 538

They sought only the surface, and for reasons of their own vanity. –loc 543

As an actor you of all people should know that death takes many and far more evil forms than the physical. Isn’t that what tragedy is all about? –loc 550

“Note further, gentlemen, that this single quality by which we convict these women and sentence them to exile from humanity is one over which they themselves possess no authority, a quality thrust upon them willy-nilly at birth. This is the antithesis of freedom, is it not? It is the use one makes of a slave. We treat even our dogs and horses better, granting to them their subtleties and contradictions of character and esteeming or contemning them thereby.” Socrates drew up and inquired of the company if any found fault with his meditation thus far. He was endorsed by all and exhorted to continue. “And yet we who consider ourselves free men often act in this manner not only toward others but toward ourselves as well. We account and define our persons by qualities gifted to or deprived us at birth, to the exclusion of those earned or acquired thereafter, brought into being by enterprise and will. This to my mind is an evil greater than degradation. It is self-degradation.” –loc 575

Socrates resumed. “Pondering this state of self-slavery, I began to puzzle: what precisely are the qualities which make men free?”
“Our will, as you said,” put in Acumenus the physician.
“And the force to exercise it,” added Mantitheus.
–loc 584

“No doubt with my poor cloak and sword–barbered beard I am perceived throughout the camp as a figure of fun. Yet I maintain that, unfettered by the constraints of the mode, I am the most free of men.” –loc 600

“Which takes precedence, do we believe, man or law? To set a man above the law is to negate law entire, for if the laws do not apply equally to all, they apply to none. To install one man upon such a promontory founds that flight of steps by which another may later ascend. –loc 623

In fact I suspect, don’t you, brothers, that when our companion nominates myself as indispensable, his intent is to establish that precedent by which he may next anoint himself.” –loc 625

His Theory of Forms arises from that selfsame interpretation. As the material manifestation of an individual horse embodies the particular and the transitory, Plato suggested, so must there exist within some higher realm the ideal form of Horse, universal and immutable, of which all corporeal horses “partake” or “participate in.” –loc 864

Democracy is a sword which cuts two ways. It emancipates the individual, setting him free to shine as no other scheme of governance. But that blade possesses an under-edge. Its spawn is spite and envy. This is why Pericles bore himself with modesty, remote from the multitude, for fear of their jealousy.” –loc 1167

“You came this close, Alcibiades,” Lysander is said to have spoken.
In response his adversary quoted the proverb “Close captures no crowns.”
To which Lysander replied, “God grant that be your epitaph,” and, turning, spurred away. –loc 1700

What I fear has nothing to do with groves or vines, Callicles, but the virtues which cultivation of the land imparts: modesty, patience, reverence for the gods, of which this Alcibiades knows little and cares less. He is a product of the city and evinces all its vices: vanity, arrogance, impatience, and immodesty before heaven.” –loc 2041

You define yourselves not as who you are, but as who you may become, and hasten over oceans to this shore you can never reach. –loc 2133

“Hope is a dangerous liquor,” my savior Lysander had addressed the ephorate in a speech so notorious it had actually been written down and circulated, unheard-of in Lacedaemon. “War has unstoppered the flasket, and nothing may seal it again.” –loc 3768

“How does one lead free men?”
“By being better than they,” Alcibiades responded at once. –loc 4089

“A commander’s role is to model arete, excellence, before his men. One need not thrash them to greatness; only hold it out before them. They will be compelled by their own nature to emulate it.” –loc 4096

If force must be employed with a subordinate, take care that it be minimal. If I command you, “Pick up that bowl,” and set a swordpoint to your back, you will obey but no part will own the action. You will exculpate yourself, accounting, “He made me do it, I had no choice.” But if I only suggest and you comply, then you must own your compliance and, owning it, stand by it. –loc 4223

Corollary to the principle of minimal force was that of minimal supervision. When Alcibiades issued a combat assignment, he imparted the objective only, leaving the means to the officer himself. The more daunting the chore, the more informally he commanded it. I never saw him issue an order from behind a desk. –loc 4242

Always assign a man more than he believes himself capable of. Make him rise to the occasion. In this way you compel him to discover fresh resources, both in himself and others of his command, thus enlarging the capacity of each, while binding all beneath the exigencies of risk and glory. –loc 4245

As we seek to make our enemies own their defeats at our hands, so we must make our friends own their victories. The less you give a man, and have him succeed, the more he draws his achievement to his heart. Remember we may elevate the fleet in two ways only. By acquiring better men or making those we have better. Even were the former practicable I would disdain it, for a hired man may hire out to another master but a man who makes himself master stays loyal forever. There was an oarsman –loc 4248

Shit rolls downhill, soldiers say, but so does confidence. –loc 5327

Courage is born of obedience. It is the issue of selflessness, brotherhood, and love of freedom. Boldness, on the other hand, is spawned of defiance and disrespect; it is the bastard brat of irreverence and outlawry. –loc 5385

“Let me phrase the question differently. Do we believe that the law, even an unjust law, must be obeyed? Or may the individual take it on himself to decide which laws are just and which unjust, which worthy of obedience and which not?”
I protested that it was not justice which Socrates had received, and thus its disallowance was legitimate.
“Let us hear your opinion, Jason. Is it better to perish through injustice inflicted upon one by others, or to live, having inflicted injustice on them?” –loc 5964

“You forget one, Jason, upon whom I would be inflicting injustice. The Laws. Suppose the Laws sat among us now. Might they not say something like this: ‘Socrates, we have served you all your life. Beneath our protection you grew to manhood, married, and raised a family; you pursued your livelihood and studied philosophy. You accepted our boons and the security we provided. Yet now, when our verdict no longer suits your convenience, you wish to put us aside.’ How would we answer the Laws?”
“Some men must be set above the laws.”
“How can you strike this posture, my friend, who argued with such fervor, that day, the contravening course?” –loc 5970

The supreme mystery of existence is this: that, perceiving it for what it is, we yet cling to it. And existence, despite all, discovers measures to reanimate our despoliated hearts. –loc 6186

He would lecture me, I knew, on vices. Three he abhorred—fear, hope, and love of country. He abominated only one beyond these: contemplation of past or future. These were offenses against nature, Telamon maintained, as they bound one to aspiration, to a result whose issue was adjudicated by forces, above the earth and beneath, which mortals may neither alter nor apprehend. Alcibiades was guilty of these, my mate observed, and of another violation of heaven’s law. Alcibiades perceived war as a means. In truth it was an end. Where our commander claimed to honor only Necessity, Telamon served a divinity more primordial. –loc 6414

War waged for advantage yields only ruin. Yet one may not disown war, which abides as constant as the seasons and eternal as the tides. –loc 6424

“What world is it you seek, Pommo, that is ‘better’ than this? Do you imagine like Alcibiades that you, or Athens, may elevate yourselves or anyone to some loftier sphere? This world is the only one that exists. Learn its laws and obey them. This is true philosophy.” –loc 6426

what is nobility that a beast may own it as well as a man? Is it not that capacity of soul by which one donates himself to an object greater than his own self-interest? –loc 6662

How lead free men? Only by this means: the summoning of each to his nobility. –loc 6663

The Virtues of War

Author: Steven Pressfield
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: December 2013

Quick Summary: This book is told through the eyes of a scribe following Alexander on his conquering journey across Asia, leading to his ultimate demise.  The shortest summary can be pulled from the book itself: 

This is tragedy. For which of us can rise above what he is? Tragedy is the arrest of a man by his own nature. He is blind to it. He cannot transcend it. If he could, it would not be tragedy. And tragedy’s power derives from our own realization, commoner as well as king, that life truly is like that. We have fashioned our ruin with our own hands.

Further Reading: Gates of Fire, Tides of War

My Highlights

Those who do not understand war believe it contention between armies, friend against foe. No. Rather friend and foe duel as one against an unseen antagonist, whose name is Fear, and seek, even entwined in death, to mount to that promontory whose ensign is honor. –loc 234

There are further items, Telamon taught, which have no place in the soldier’s kit. Hope is one. Thought for future or past. Fear. Remorse. Hesitation. –loc 456

A warrior must not advance to battle hopeless—that is, devoid of hope. Rather let him set aside all baggage of expectation—of riches, celebrity, even death—and spur beneath extinction’s scythe lightened of all, save surrender to that outcome known only to the gods. –loc 464

“For the self-control of the warrior, which we observe and admire in his comportment, is but the outward manifestation of the inner perfection of the man. Such virtues as patience, courage, selflessness, which the soldier seems to have acquired for the purpose of defeating the foe, are in truth for use against enemies within himself—the eternal antagonists of inattention, greed, sloth, self-conceit, and so on. –loc 469

When each of us recognizes, as we must, that we too are engaged in this struggle, we find ourselves drawn to the warrior, as the acolyte to the seer. –loc 472

The true man-at-arms, in fact, can overcome his enemy without even striking a blow, simply by the example of his virtue. In fact he can not only defeat this foe but also make him his willing friend and ally, and even, if he wishes, his slave. –loc 473

Here, for your education, Itanes, I must address a question that causes all young officers consternation. I mean the experience of empathy for the foe. Never be ashamed to feel this. It is not unmanly. Indeed, I believe it the noblest demonstration of martial virtue. –loc 614

War is fear, let no man say otherwise. –loc 682

“Let me underscore this only, my friends, in regard to the foe. It is not our place to hate these men or to take pleasure in their slaughter. We fight today not to seize their lands or lives, but their preeminence among the Greeks. With luck, they will fight at our sides when Philip turns for Asia and marches against the Persian throne. –loc 778

No army ever won a battle when its elite unit was destroyed. –loc 782

I alone am master of my life! I vowed in that instant not only to dedicate myself to the study of horses and horsemanship, to make myself without peer as cavalryman and cavalry officer, but to educate myself in all things, to become my own tutor, selecting the subjects I needed to master and seeking instruction on my own. –loc 1328

Regret, Telamon had taught, has no place in the soldier’s kit of war. I know this is true. But I know, as well, that no act comes without a price. All men must answer for their crimes. I shall for mine. –loc 1362

The sarissas know their work is war. They are sorry for this. They cry for the suffering they cause. –loc 1844

He is dead. I weep, not only out of respect for the brilliant Rhodian, though I feel that in abundance, but for the role of chance and luck in the affairs of men, and the knowledge of how tenuous is our hold, all of us, upon this thing we call life. –loc 1852

Because a thing has never been done, gentlemen, is no reason to say it cannot be. And, in my view, no reason not to try. –loc 1915

Do you know what faculty I claim in myself as preeminent beyond all rivals? Not warcraft or conquest. Certainly not politics. Imagination. –loc 1964

The life of peace is fitting for a mule or an ass. I would be a lion! –loc 2701

One cannot be a philosopher and a warrior at the same time, as Parmenio has said. And one cannot be a man and a king. –loc 2783

Always attack. Even in defense, attack. The attacking arm possesses the initiative and thus commands the action. To attack makes men brave; to defend makes them timorous. If I learn that an officer of mine has assumed a defensive posture in the field, that officer will never hold command under me again. –loc 2822

When deliberating, think in campaigns and not battles; in wars and not campaigns; in ultimate conquest and not wars. –loc 2826

Seek the decisive battle. What good does it do us to win ten scraps of no consequence if we lose the one that counts? I want to fight battles that decide the fate of empires. –loc 2828

It is as important to win morally as to win militarily. By which I mean our victories must break the foe’s heart and tear from him all hope of contesting us again. I do not wish to fight war upon war, but by war to produce such a peace as will admit of no insurrection. –loc 2831

The object of campaign is to bring about a battle that will prove decisive. We feint; we maneuver; we provoke to one end: to compel the foe to face us in the field. –loc 2835

The object of pursuit after victory is not only to prevent the enemy from re-forming in the instance (this goes without saying), but to burn such fear into his vitals that he will never think of re-forming again. –loc 2843

As commanders, we must save our supreme ruthlessness for ourselves. Before we make any move in the face of the enemy, we must ask ourselves, free of vanity and self-deception, how the foe will counter. Unearth every stroke and have an answer for it. Even when you think you have thought of everything, there will be more work to do. Be merciless with yourself, for every careless act is paid for in our own blood and the blood of our countrymen. –loc 2849

Let us conduct ourselves in such a fashion that all nations wish to be our friends and all fear to be our enemies. –loc 2862

No advantage in war is greater than speed. To appear suddenly in strength where the enemy least expects you overawes him and throws him into consternation. –loc 2864

Be conservative until the crucial moment. Then strike with all the violence you possess. –loc 2873

Remember: We need win at only one point on the field, so long as that point is decisive. –loc 2874

Don’t punch; counterpunch. The purpose of an initial evolution—a feint or draw—is to provoke the enemy into committing himself prematurely. Once he moves, we countermove. –loc 2883

An officer must lead from the front. How can we ask our soldiers to risk death if we ourselves shrink from hazard? –loc 2888

Leverage of position means the occupation of that site which compels the enemy to move. When we face an enemy marshaled in a defensive posture, our first thought must be: What post can we seize that will make him withdraw? –loc 2890

Here is something the instructors of war do not teach: the art of confronting the irrational, of disarming the groundless and the unknown. –loc 3076

Pick one way and don’t look back. Nothing is worse than indecision. Be wrong, but be wrong decisively. –loc 3139

Can you please your constituents? Never let me hear that word! The men are never happy with anything. The march is always too long, the way always too rough. –loc 3140

Hardship. Give your men something that can’t be done, not something that can. Then place yourself at first hazard. –loc 3141

Rationality is superstition by another name. –loc 3147

Great commanders do not temper their measures to What Is; they bring forth What May Be. –loc 3148

Nothing is harder in war than to stand fast. –loc 3185

Sweat, speed, action—these are the antidotes to fear. –loc 3231

The material a commander manipulates is the human heart. –loc 3310

His art lies in producing courage in his own men and terror in the foe. –loc 3311

The general produces courage by discipline, training, and fitness; by fairness and order; superior pay, armament, tactics, and supply; by his dispositions in the field; and by the genius of his own presence and actions. –loc 3311

When men know they will be attacked, they feel fear; when they know they will attack, they feel strength. –loc 3340

To contend chivalrously against the chivalrous foe refines us, as gold in the crucible. –loc 3359

The ordeal of command consists in this: that one makes decisions of fatal consequence based on ludicrously inadequate intelligence. –loc 3675

“Success,” says Telamon, “is the weightiest burden of all. We are victors now. All our dreams have come true.” –loc 4394

When they were starving, your officers were a corps of comrades. But now each has grown touchy and quick to take insult. They are no longer mates, but rivals. You give them so much money, you make them independent of you. –loc 4452

Gold buys adherents; it turns good men arrogant and bad men ungovernable. –loc 4454

No man speaks the truth to a king. –loc 4484

“To be royal,” Sisygambis has said, “is to tread barefoot upon the razor’s edge. –loc 4538

“This man has conquered the world! What have you done?”
The philosopher replied without an instant’s hesitation, “I have conquered the need to conquer the world.”
–loc 4773

This is tragedy. For which of us can rise above what he is? Tragedy is the arrest of a man by his own nature. He is blind to it. He cannot transcend it. If he could, it would not be tragedy. And tragedy’s power derives from our own realization, commoner as well as king, that life truly is like that. We have fashioned our ruin with our own hands. –loc 4819

For have you not noticed of these sages, my friends, that they are the consummate soldiers? Inured to pain, oblivious to hardship, each takes up his post at dawn and does not relinquish it for thirst, hunger, heat, cold, fatigue. He is cheerful in all weathers, self-motivated, self-governed, self-commended. –loc 4854

“But there is one thing to which you are indeed attached, to your soul’s detriment.”
“And what is that, my friend?”
“Your victories. You remain proud of them. This is not good for you.”

–loc 4863

“You should be able to walk away from all this now, this night. Get up! Take nothing! Can you? –loc 4866

I schooled you as a boy, Alexander, to be superior to fear and to anger. You learned eagerly. You vanquished hardship and hunger and cold and fatigue. But you have not learned to master your victories. These hold you. You are their slave. –loc 4875

War is a crime, Alexander. In the end it is but butchery. For all the poets’ anthems, war’s object is nothing nobler than the imposition of one nation’s will upon another by means of force and threat of force. –loc 4951

Gates of Fire

Author: Steven Pressfield
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: December 2013

Quick Summary: Most people are aware of the story of the Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae, recently popularized by the movie 300.  This novel predates the movie, and is told from a different angle – that of a slave in service to the Spartans.  This novel expands upon the battle, discussing Spartan society, training, and follows exploits of various Spartans as the situation rushes closer toward war.

This is a book about war, and the warrior’s life.  It stresses many military themes: honor, duty, esprit de corps, and facing death in combat.  If you’re not into military things, skip this one.  Otherwise, this is an excellent read.

Recommended Reading: The Virtues of War, Tides of War

My Highlights

No one may expect valor from one cast out alone, cut off from the gods of his home. –loc 657

we have learned that which you Greeks have not. The wheel turns, and man must turn with it. To resist is not mere folly, but madness. –loc 863

“You have never tasted freedom, friend,” Dienekes spoke, “or you would know it is purchased not with gold, but steel. –loc 866

The Spartans say that any army may win while it still has its legs under it; the real test comes when all strength is fled and the men must produce victory on will alone. –loc 1122

“Dienekes says the mind is like a house with many rooms,” he said. “There are rooms one must not go into. To anticipate one’s death is one of those rooms. We must not allow ourselves even to think it. –loc 1497

Deflect defamation with a joke, the coarser the better. Laugh in its face. A mind which can maintain its lightness will not come undone in war. –loc 2162

Dienekes’ courage was different. His was the virtue of a man, a fallible mortal, who brought valor forth out of the understanding of his heart, by the force of some inner integrity which was unknown to Polynikes. –loc 2236

“War, not peace, produces virtue. War, not peace, purges vice. War, and preparation for war, call forth all that is noble and honorable in a man. It unites him with his brothers and binds them in selfless love, eradicating in the crucible of necessity all which is base and ignoble. –loc 2303

“Remember what I told you about the house with many rooms. There are rooms we must not enter. Anger. Fear. Any passion which leads the mind toward that ‘possession’ which undoes men in war. –loc 2334

Habit will be your champion. When you train the mind to think one way and one way only, when you refuse to allow it to think in another, that will produce great strength in battle. –loc 2336

“The gods make us love whom we will not,” the lady declared, “and disrequite whom we will. They slay those who should live and spare those who deserve to die. They give with one hand and take with the other, answerable only to their own unknowable laws. –loc 3481

Men’s pain is lightly borne and swiftly over. Our wounds are of the flesh, which is nothing; women’s is of the heart—sorrow unending, far more bitter to bear. –loc 3534

Where there is work to do, turn your hand to it first; the men will follow. Keep your men busy. If there is no work, make it up, for when soldiers have time to talk, their talk turns to fear. Action, on the other hand, produces the appetite for more action. –loc 3770

Leonidas sought to instill courage not by his words alone but by the calm and professional manner with which he spoke them. –loc 3776

War is work, not mystery. –loc 3777

“All my life,” Dienekes began, “one question has haunted me. What is the opposite of fear? –loc 3860

“Man’s courage, to give his life for his country, is great but unextraordinary. Is it not intrinsic to the nature of the male, beasts as well as men, to fight and to contend? –loc 3918

“Let neither of us pity the other,” my cousin spoke in parting. “We are where we must be, and we will do what we must. –loc 4933

“My mother’s religion teaches that those things alone are real which cannot be perceived by the senses. The soul. Mother love. Courage. These are closer to God, she taught, because they alone are the same on both sides of death, in front of the curtain and behind. –loc 5484

For what can be more noble than to slay oneself? Not literally. Not with a blade in the guts. But to extinguish the selfish self within, that part which looks only to its own preservation, to save its own skin. That, I saw, was the victory you Spartans had gained over yourselves. That was the glue. –loc 5508

When a warrior fights not for himself, but for his brothers, when his most passionately sought goal is neither glory nor his own life’s preservation, but to spend his substance for them, his comrades, not to abandon them, not to prove unworthy of them, then his heart truly has achieved contempt for death, and with that he transcends himself and his actions touch the sublime. –loc 5511

I believe they sense that the virtues are like music. They vibrate at a higher, nobler pitch. –loc 5522

“The opposite of fear,” Dienekes said, “is love.” –loc 5536

In one way only have the gods permitted mortals to surpass them. Man may give that which the gods cannot, all he possesses, his life. My own I set down with joy, for you, friends, who have become the brother I no longer possess. –loc 5866

Forget king. Forget wife and children and freedom. Forget every concept, however noble, that you imagine you fight for here today. Act for this alone: for the man who stands at your shoulder. He is everything, and everything is contained within him. That’s all I know. That’s all I can tell you. –loc 5891

I will tell His Majesty what a king is. A king does not abide within his tent while his men bleed and die upon the field. A king does not dine while his men go hungry, nor sleep when they stand at watch upon the wall. A king does not command his men’s loyalty through fear nor purchase it with gold; he earns their love by the sweat of his own back and the pains he endures for their sake. That which comprises the harshest burden, a king lifts first and sets down last. A king does not require service of those he leads but provides it to them. He serves them, not they him. –loc 5931

A king does not expend his substance to enslave men, but by his conduct and example makes them free. –loc 5946

I and every man there were never more free than when we gave freely obedience to those harsh laws which take life and give it back again. –loc 5950

Those were the last tears of mine, my lord, that the sun will ever see. –loc 6171

Hour of the Dragon

Author: Robert E. Howard
Rating: 6/10
Last Read: January 2013

Quick Summary:  Conan is king of Aquilonia, and people are plotting to depose him by reviving a long-dead wizard.  Conan is saved from death and travels the land seeking revenge and a way to regain his kingdom.

A decent fantasy read.  Nothing super spectacular to prioritize, but if you enjoy Conan it is a good story.

My Highlights

“These things are governed by immutable laws,” she said at last. “I can not make you understand; I do not altogether understand myself, though I have sought wisdom in the silences of the high places for more years than I can remember. I cannot save you, though I would if I might. Man must, at last, work out his own salvation. Yet perhaps wisdom may come to me in dreams, and in the morn I may be able to give you the clue to the enigma.”

Big Bill Broonzy Sings Folk Songs

I was introduced to Big Bill Broonzy by way of Vinyl Me Please, who included Big Bill Broonzy Sings Folk Songs as one of their featured monthly releases.

I love the blues, but prior to getting this album I did not pay much attention to Big Bill. He was one of those names that I was familiar with, but I couldn’t quite identify any of his songs. After this album, I devoured everything of his that I could find (and I definitely recommend the Big Bill Broonzy Story as a next stop).

This album contains a selection of folk songs that are soulfully sung in a country blues style – nothing from the “standard rotation” is present. The album culminates in my favorite song on the album – “Glory of Love” – for a stellar ending to an enjoyable ride.

Check it out if you like the blues. It got me hooked.

Big Bill Broonzy Story

Big Bill Broonzy is my favorite blues singer – lucky for me he was quite the prolific artist.

This 3-disk collection was recorded in 1957, a year before his death. Big Bill is playing guitar and conducting an interview at the same time – questions are interspersed between songs. Big Bill provides honest answers, covering the backgrounds of other players, the meaning behind different songs, and what it takes to sing the blues.

As an avid blues fan, I love having this window into the experiences that went into this awesome music.

Love is a Mixtape

Author: Rob Sheffield
Rating: 10/10
Last Read: February 2015

Quick Summary:  A music journalist for the Rolling Stone writes a book about his relationship with the love of his life.  Each chapter has a playlist, and the songs that are picked are intertwined into his retelling of their life story.  

The book opens telling you that this is not a happy story – it’s the story of how he found love and then lost it due to a tragic death.  As he’s spinning the tale of their love, you manage to forget this fact – until the terrible event happens and you feel the deep pang of loss (“how could this happen to them?!”).

I have a deep appreciation for this book – music is equally important to me and equally intertwined in my life. Losing the music is a tragic thing.

My Highlights

It was a smashing time, and then it ended, because that’s what times do. –loc 141

Renée loved to do things. That was mysterious to me, since I was more comfortable talking about things and never doing them. –loc 149

Tonight, I feel like my whole body is made out of memories. I’m a mix tape, a cassette that’s been rewound so many times you can hear the fingerprints smudged on the tape. –loc 171

A song nobody likes is a sad thing. But a love song nobody likes is hardly a thing at all. –loc 188

There are millions of songs in the world, and millions of ways to connect them into mixes. Making the connections is part of the fun of being a fan. –loc 295

Walter Benjamin, in his prescient 1923 essay “One Way Street,” said a book was an outdated means of communication between two boxes of index cards. One professor goes through books, looking for tasty bits he can copy onto index cards. Then he types his index cards up into a book, so other professors can go through it and copy tasty bits onto their own index cards. Benjamin’s joke was: Why not just sell the index cards? –loc 301

I’d rather hear a Frank Sinatra song between Run-DMC and Bananarama than between two other Frank Sinatra songs. When you stick a song on a tape, you set it free. –loc 307

Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they add up to the story of a life. –loc 335

It was a painful night, but I got the message: Let the dancing girls dance. That’s the one ironclad rule of pop muzik, whether in New York, London, Paris, or Munich, and I’m just lucky I learned it so early. I had always been taught to fear disco, and to fear the disco inside me. But by the second verse of “Bad Girls,” it was obvious everything I knew was wrong. “Toot toot, beep beep” was meaningful on a much deeper level than I could have fathomed. –loc 440

It’s this kind of syndrome—where if a guy sees his girlfriend likin’ somebody, that’s called ‘bitch power.’ Like Elvis Presley was hated by men, hated, ’cause he had bitch power. Teddy Pendergrass has bitch power. I just found out that I have a little bitch power. But beyond bitch power, I have something else, that men like—and that’s the truth, and the down-to-earth shit, OK? So men don’t mind bringin’ their women to see me, ’cause I have bitch power but it’s in another way. –loc 448

How do you turn down the volume on your personal-drama earphones and learn how to listen to other people? How do you jump off one moving train, marked Yourself, and jump onto a train moving in the opposite direction, marked Everybody Else? –loc 620

Sometimes you lie in a strange room, in a strange person’s home, and you feel yourself bending out of shape. –loc 765

Is there any scarier word than “irreversible”? It’s a hiss of a word, full of side effects and mutilations. Severe tire damage—no backing up. –loc 774

Girls take up a lot of room. –loc 792

I thought, There is nowhere else in the universe I would rather be at this moment. I could count the places I would not rather be. I’ve always wanted to see New Zealand, but I’d rather be here. The majestic ruins of Machu Picchu? I’d rather be here. A hillside in Cuenca, Spain, sipping coffee and watching leaves fall? Not even close. There is nowhere else I could imagine wanting to be besides here in this car, with this girl, on this road, listening to this song. If she breaks my heart, no matter what hell she puts me through, I can say it was worth it, just because of right now. Out the window is a blur and all I can really hear is this girl’s hair flapping in the wind, and maybe if we drive fast enough the universe will lose track of us and forget to stick us somewhere else. –loc 839

I kept thinking of an old Robert Mitchum cowboy movie where he goes back to see the farmhouse where he was born and finds the house falling apart and an old man living in it by himself. “Lonely place,” Robert Mitchum says. The old man says, “Nothing wrong with a lonely place as long as it’s private. That’s why I never married. Marriage is lonely, but it ain’t private.” –loc 946

Our lives were just beginning, our favorite moment was right now, our favorite songs were unwritten. –loc 1073

The songs were all either fast or sad, because all songs should be either fast or sad. Some of the fast ones were sad, too. –loc 1122

“Honey, is this song about us?” the strategic answer is, “Yes, but so is ‘Just Like Heaven.’” –loc 1250

“If it’s got tits or tires, it’s gonna cost you money.” –loc 1284

Chuck Berry the night he decided to mix country with the blues, –loc 1399

I suddenly realized how much being a husband was about fear: fear of not being able to keep somebody safe, of not being able to protect somebody from all the bad stuff you want to protect them from. Knowing they have more tears in them than you will be able to keep them from crying. –loc 1439

Every time I started to cry, I remembered how Renée used to say real life was a bad country song, except bad country songs are believable and real life isn’t. –loc 1747

I had no voice to talk with because she was my whole language. –loc 1825

You lose a certain kind of innocence when you experience this type of kindness. You lose your right to be a jaded cynic. You can no longer go back through the looking glass and pretend not to know what you know about kindness. It’s a defeat, in a way. –loc 1912

Human benevolence is totally unfair. We don’t live in a kind or generous world, yet we are kind and generous. We know the universe is out to burn us, and it gets us all the way it got Renée, but we don’t burn each other, not always. –loc 1944

One day, you’re in a physical landscape you share with this bizarre and fundamentally alien creature, not alien because she’s female but alien because you’re a fool in love and there’s nothing not alien about that. And then when she’s gone, you’re alone and all the strangeness and wonder have gone out of the landscape and you’re still a fool but now nobody notices how many days in a row you wear the same socks and cleaning the shower doesn’t make the girl smile anymore so everything smells a little worse and doesn’t get fixed when it breaks. –loc 2049

But all the things you want to learn from grief turn out to be the total opposite of what you actually learn. There are no revelations, no wisdoms as a trade-off for the things you have lost. You just get stupider, more selfish. Colder and grimmer. You forget your keys. You leave the house and panic that you won’t remember where you live. You know less than you ever did. You keep crossing thresholds of grief and you think, Maybe this one will unveil some sublime truth about life and death and pain. But on the other side, there’s just more grief. –loc 2181

It’s not human to let go of love, even when it’s dead. –loc 2187

Ralph Waldo Emerson knew the score: “I grieve that grief can teach me nothing.” That’s from “Experience,” his late essay about human loss and his son’s death. –loc 2195

It’s the same with people who say, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Even people who say this must realize that the exact opposite is true. What doesn’t kill you maims you, cripples you, leaves you weak, makes you whiny and full of yourself at the same time. The more pain, the more pompous you get. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you incredibly annoying.

Sometimes great tunes happen to bad times, and when the bad time is over, not all the tunes get to move on with you. –loc 2294

It was strange to fall back in love with really old songs, or to hear them for the first time and not get to hear Renée sing along with them. –loc 2390

I realize that I will never fully understand the millions of bizarre ways that music brings people together. –loc 2438

After Renée died, I assumed the rest of my life would be just a consolation prize. I would keep living, and keep having new experiences, but none of them would compare to the old days. I would have to settle for a lonely life I didn’t want, which would always remind me of the life I couldn’t have anymore. But it didn’t turn out that way, and there’s something strange and upsetting about that. –loc 2450

sometimes I think, man, all the people I get to hear this song with, we’re going to miss each other when we die. When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other. –loc 2504

But the rhythm of the mix tape is the rhythm of romance, the analog hum of a physical connection between two sloppy, human bodies. –loc 2511

The cassette is full of tape hiss and room tone; it’s full of wasted space, unnecessary noise. –loc 2511

But the answer is simple. Love is a mix tape. –loc 2533

Once a Hero

Author: Michael A. Stackpole
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: February 2014

Quick Summary:  A fantasy tale involving two separate story arcs across a 500 year time period – one in the past which involves the hero (Neal) and the other in the story’s present with an elf.  The story involves tensions between humans and elves, and their common enemy who Neal tried to vanquish in the past.

Excellent fantasy read – couldn’t put it down when I read through it the first time.  The story element is interesting (Similar to Talion: Revenant).

My Highlights

“without a scar, I might forget. I’m not thinking I suffer hurts so lightly that I’ll be wanting to be unmindful of them.”

“I have forced myself to be aware of everything on a battlefield. Awareness is the key to winning.”

If you are to be understood, you must speak to them in the manner which they will understand.

The island itself was deserted, and sitting there between two small rootlets of the grand tree, I managed a lot more thinking. I didn’t like all of it, but I’ve found that when you finally sit down to do the thinking that must be done, chances are there’s not much of it that will make you smile.

The hurt was in the hearing and because of what the words have made me think about. It is difficult to discover you have been deceiving yourself.

“You are forgiven if you wish, but I did not count it a fault against you.”

Puzzlement again knotted Berengar’s brow. “I don’t understand his choice.”
“Is that because it was a bad choice, or just the choice you would not have made in his place?”

Hatred is too strong an emotion to be wasted on harmless differences such as race.

Talion: Revenant

Author: Michael A. Stackpole
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: February 2014

Quick Summary:  An orphan becomes a Justice of the Talions – traveling the countryside, dispensing justice where there is no law (akin to the confessors from *The Sword of Truth* series).  Things get complicated with our Justice is tasked with defending the king of the country that invaded his homeland.

When I was done, I felt sad that this was just a standalone novel – I liked the character and the universe enough that I wanted more. (Stackpole says it’s the book for which he most often gets sequel requests)

My Highlights

“I will not wish you good luck, because a Talion does not depend upon luck. Have courage and trust yourself.”

Such a simple job did not annoy me as it did others because, for me, it provided a reference point within reality and reassured me that while I dealt with good and evil, and the vast gray area in between, there were jobs that could be finished and finished well. In its own small way it confirmed the possibility of progress, and how any task that could be started could also be completed.

I am merely a man who realizes he is capable of mistakes, but I am also a man who is willing to take responsibility for those errors.

Lothar grumbled. “But he died from my attack. That was stupid. He just helped Marana win as if he was just her second sword.” I frowned. “A tool is just a tool, unless it does the job by itself.

Remember that a stalemate is a stalemate as long as no one acts.

A man who you fear will kill you is often afraid of the same treatment at your hands. There are times when two men in such a position both defend to prevent injury and deny victory to themselves. The person to act in that situation, if he has the required skills, will break the stalemate and be the victor.”

But the anger was swallowed, in turn, by the pride I had in myself. I worked hard for everything, and if that threatened them, it also marked them as petty and small.

Justice must be tempered by mercy and common sense. Justice is your gift to the world, not your right or privilege. Remember this and live by it. In this you will serve well.

Ritual

Ritual is the only language we truly believe in:
tea steaming a glass mug on a table,
smoke from a cigarette filling the room with blue,
the way the sun falls across our face as we sleep.
These are our things, we say.

Abani, Chris (2013-06-07). Sanctificum (p. 46)

Source

 

Sanctificum

By Chris Abani