Musashi

Author: Eiji Yoshikawa
Rating: 9/10
Last Read: Nov 2017

Quick Summary: This novel is quite the epic read, in both length and enjoyment.  The book follows Miyamoto Musashi, a famous Japanese swordsman, across many journeys in the years of his life, culminating with his famous fight with Sasaki Kojiro.  The novel is divided up into different stages in Musashi’s life, also representing different stages in his growth and development. 

There are many philosophical and practical lessons to be gained from this book.  Zen themes permeate throughout, as can be expected in a book about a Japanese swordsman.  There is also much time to think of filial obligations, the path one has dedicated himself to in life, revenge, and other grandiose concepts that we all struggle with in our life’s journey.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and look forward to my next reading.

My Highlights

Most important, he gradually transformed himself from an instinctive fighter into a man who fanatically pursued the goals of Zen-like self-discipline, complete inner mastery over oneself, and a sense of oneness with surrounding nature.
–loc 162

He called out, but there was no reply, nor did he expect one. A vacant house has an aura all its own.
–loc 743

After a while, Takuan grew reflective. “How peaceful it is here,” he sighed, sounding both religious and childlike. “Why, when we could live out our lives in a flower-filled paradise, do we all prefer to weep, suffer and get lost in a maelstrom of passion and fury, torturing ourselves in the flames of hell? I hope that you, at least, won’t have to go through all that.”
–loc 825

The captain, who was by now screaming, had his sheathed sword in hand. “I’ve taken all I can take. Now you’re going to get what’s coming to you!”
Takuan burst out laughing. “Does that mean you plan to cut off my head? If so, forget it. It would be a terrible bore.”
“Huh?”
“A bore. I can’t think of anything more boring than cutting off a monk’s head. It would just fall to the floor and lie there laughing up at you. Not a very grand accomplishment, and what good could it possibly do you?”
–loc 1377

“What are you saying, Otsū?” objected Takuan. “There’s nothing wrong with my mind, and I’m not joking. I’m only telling the truth, which no one seems to like to hear. He’s a dolt, so I called him a dolt. You want me to lie?”
–loc 1395

The captain was a man in his forties, ten years or so older than Takuan, but it was clear from their faces at this moment that strength of character is not a matter of age. Takuan’s tongue-lashing had humbled the older man and his bluster had evaporated.
–loc 1431

When word reached the temple priest, he nodded sagely and remarked that the human mouth is the gateway to catastrophe.
–loc 1472

“Listen, men and women of Miyamoto. I have something to say, something important.” The hue and cry died down. “It is not I who deserve the credit for capturing Takezō. It was not I who accomplished it, but the law of nature. Those who break it always lose in the end. It is the law that you should respect.”
–loc 1781

Loneliness, she mused, is like hunger; it isn’t outside but inside oneself. To be lonely, she thought, is to sense that one lacks something, something vitally necessary, but what she knew not.
–loc 1855

“That’s not the point, you imbecile! The trouble with you is that you don’t even know how to think. You seem to be under the misconception that if you perform one brave deed, that alone makes you a samurai. Well, it doesn’t! You let that one act of loyalty convince you of your righteousness. The more convinced you became, the more harm you caused yourself and everyone else. And now where are you? Caught in a trap you set for yourself, that’s where!” He paused. “By the way, how’s the view from up there, Takezō?” “You pig! I won’t forget this!” “You’ll forget everything soon. Before you turn into dried meat, Takezō, take a good look at the wide world around you. Gaze out onto the world of human beings, and change your selfish way of thinking. And then, when you arrive in that other world beyond and are reunited with your ancestors, tell them that just before you died a man named Takuan Sōhō told you this. They’ll be overjoyed to learn you had such excellent guidance, even if you did learn what life was all about too late to bring anything but shame to your family name.”
–loc 1968

Anger over petty emotional trifles is for women, not men.
–loc 2096

“Sorry, Takezō. It’s out of my hands. It’s the law of nature. You can’t do things over again. That’s life. Everything in it is for keeps. Everything! You can’t put your head back on after the enemy’s cut it off. That’s the way it is. Of course, I feel sorry for you, but I can’t undo that rope, because it wasn’t me who tied it. It was you. All I can do is give you some advice. Face death bravely and quietly. Say a prayer and hope someone bothers to listen. And for the sake of your ancestors, Takezō, have the decency to die with a peaceful look on your face!”
–loc 2136

The life that had been given to him was something to be treasured and cherished, polished and perfected.
–loc 2351

He who knows the art of the warrior is not confused in his movements. He acts and is not confined.
–loc 2479

“You may read as much as you want. A famous priest of ancient times once said, ‘I become immersed in the sacred scriptures and read thousands of volumes. When I come away, I find that my heart sees more than before.’
–loc 2485

He wondered if he’d ever again meet the man who’d saved his life. And again he was struck by Takuan’s concern for his fellow man, which seemed all-encompassing and completely devoid of selfishness. Musashi realized how narrow-minded he himself had been, how petty, to suppose that the monk felt a special compassion for him alone; his generosity encompassed Ogin, Otsū, anyone in need whom he thought he could help.
–loc 2616

These days he often felt deep admiration for other people’s work. He found he respected technique, art, even the ability to do a simple task well, particularly if it was a skill he himself had not mastered.
–loc 3240

He stopped along the way to look at several well-known temples, and at each of them he bowed and said two prayers. One was: “Please protect my sister from harm.” The other was: “Please test the lowly Musashi with hardship. Let him become the greatest swordsman in the land, or let him die.”
–loc 3262

If the young cannot harbor great dreams in their souls, who can? At the moment Musashi was imagining how he could create a place of his own in the world.
–loc 3271

It was odd that they should have thought of it that way. Having since learned from Takuan that life is a jewel to be treasured, Musashi knew that far from giving up nothing, he and Matahachi had unwittingly been offering their most precious possession. Each had literally wagered everything he had on the hope of receiving a paltry stipend as a samurai. In retrospect, he wondered how they could have been so foolish.
–loc 3498

True, you sensed belligerence in me, but it was only a reflection of your own.”
–loc 4055

“Don’t you understand yet?” he asked. “That you’re too strong is the only thing I have to teach you. If you continue to pride yourself on your strength, you won’t live to see thirty. Why, you might easily have been killed today. Think about that, and decide how to conduct yourself in the future.”
–loc 4540

“Fighting isn’t all there is to the Art of War. The men who think that way, and are satisfied to have food to eat and a place to sleep, are mere vagabonds. A serious student is much more concerned with training his mind and disciplining his spirit than with developing martial skills. He has to learn about all sorts of things—geography, irrigation, the people’s feelings, their manners and customs, their relationship with the lord of their territory. He wants to know what goes on inside the castle, not just what goes on outside it. He wants, essentially, to go everywhere he can and learn everything he can.”
–loc 4595

Sometimes, he was thinking, it works the other way around. These pampered young sons of Kyoto were in a position to see what was happening at the center of things and to know what was going on everywhere, but it would not have occurred to them that while they were watching the great open sea, somewhere else, at the bottom of a deep well, a frog was steadily growing larger and stronger. Here in Koyagyū, well away from the country’s political and economic center, sturdy samurai had for decades been leading a healthy rural life, preserving the ancient virtues, correcting their weak points and growing in stature.
–loc 4643

His perspicacity, which people admired, was one factor, but to survive in such turbulent times, Sekishūsai had to have an inner fortitude lacking in the ordinary samurai of his time; they were all too apt to side with a man one day and shamelessly desert him the next, to look after their own interests—with no thought to propriety or integrity—or even to slaughter their own kinsmen should they interfere with personal ambitions.
–loc 4701

In Sekishūsai’s view, the Art of War was certainly a means of governing the people, but it was also a means of controlling the self.
–loc 4715

To tell the truth, being from samurai families, we don’t know anything about tea. Our intention was to inquire personally after Sekishūsai’s health and persuade him to give us a lesson in swordsmanship.”
“He understands that perfectly, of course. But he’s spending his old age in retirement and has acquired the habit of expressing many of his thoughts in terms of tea.”
–loc 4843

The old man had not shut his gate merely to wandering students but to all the affairs of this world, to its honors as well as its tribulations. He had put behind him worldly desire, both his own and that of others.
–loc 5423

You should know that the path of darkness and desire leads only to frustration and misery—frustration and misery beyond salvation.”
–loc 5602

“Ah, even I’m beginning to think priests are crazy. Everywhere they go, they meet no one but people rushing toward hell.”
–loc 5625

Neither the townspeople nor the farmers nor the daimyō realized that they were being carefully fitted into a feudal system that would eventually bind them hand and foot. No one was thinking of what things might be like in another hundred years. No one, that is, except Ieyasu.
–loc 5672

It was not hard to find able swordsmen. What was hard to find was a real man. While the world was full of people, all too full, finding a genuine human being was not easy. In his travels, Musashi had come to believe this very deeply, to the point of pain, and it discouraged him. But then his mind always turned to Takuan, for there, without doubt, was an authentic, unique individual. “I guess I’m lucky,” thought Musashi. “At least I’ve had the good fortune to know one genuine man. I must make sure the experience of having known him bears fruit.
–loc 7251

Moreover, while not being thrown off balance by the prospect of death was a mental state of a higher order, it was not really so difficult to face death if one knew that one had to die.
–loc 7416

When I hear him talk, I wonder whether Nobunaga and Hideyoshi and Ieyasu are really such great men. I know they’re supposed to be important, but is it really so wonderful to take control of the country if you get the idea that you’re the only person in it who counts?”
–loc 7538

Takuan had taught him life’s first lesson, namely that there are a lot of people in the world who may very well be one’s betters.
–loc 7768

Before letting his pride and confidence betray him into underestimating an adversary, he wanted to size him up from every possible angle. While laying his groundwork, he would remain sociable, even if at times this might strike his opponent as being cowardly or subservient.
–loc 7771

Those who love seek a philosophy and, because of this, are fond of solitude.
–loc 8242

Musashi wondered how many people there were who on this night could say: “I was right. I did what I should have done. I have no regrets.” For him, each resounding knell evoked a tremor of remorse. He could conjure up nothing but the things he had done wrong during the last year. Nor was it only the last year—the year before, and the year before that, all the years that had gone by had brought regrets. There had not been a single year devoid of them. Indeed, there had hardly been one day. From his limited perspective of the world, it seemed that whatever people did they soon came to regret. Men, for example, took wives with the intention of living out their lives with them but often changed their minds later. One could readily forgive women for their afterthoughts, but then women rarely voiced their complaints, whereas men frequently did so. How many times had he heard men disparage their wives as if they were old discarded sandals?
–loc 8740

Satisfied with this third effort, he put his brush down. Although the three sentences had been written with the same intent, the first two could conceivably mean he would have no regrets whether he acted rightly or wrongly, whereas the third emphasized his determination to act in such a way as to make self-reproach unnecessary.
–loc 8759

Musashi repeated the resolution to himself, realizing it was an ideal he could not achieve unless he disciplined his heart and his mind to the utmost of his ability. Nevertheless, to strive for a state in which nothing he did would cause regrets was the path he must pursue. “Someday I will reach that state!” he vowed, driving the oath like a stake deep into his own heart.
–loc 8762

As soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew there was danger. To me, that sign you put up looks more like an announcement of mourning for the House of Yoshioka. It’s very sad, but it seems to be the way of the world that people never realize when they’re finished.
–loc 9344

Kojirō’s tone became snide. “It also seems to be typical of people on the way down that they won’t accept an act of kindness in the spirit in which it’s offered.
–loc 9347

Judging her in terms of swordsmanship, he thought to himself, “She’s perfect! She doesn’t leave herself open anywhere.” As she whisked the tea, he sensed in her the same unearthly proficiency that one might observe in a master swordsman poised to strike. “It’s the Way,” he thought, “the essence of art. One has to have it to be perfect at anything.”
–loc 9642

“If you become self-conscious about the proper way to drink, you won’t enjoy the tea. When you use a sword, you can’t let your body become too tense. That would break the harmony between the sword and your spirit. Isn’t that right?”
–loc 9656

“I want you to take a good look at that girl’s head. You’ll see then just how pretty she is. I want you to see with your own eyes what a woman is like after she dies. Nothing but bones. I want you to know the folly of passion.”
–loc 10664

“Takuan, you can carry a lantern through this life, but it won’t do you any good unless you open your eyes. What are they anyway? Just holes in your head, funny ornaments?”
–loc 10738

I think every man should have a place he can regard as home, even if it’s nothing more than a little shack. Without a house, a person gets lonely-feels lost somehow.
–loc 10827

Maybe I’m just a vagabond at heart.” “You’re not the only one, by any means. It’s only natural, but you should avoid the temptation of thinking that your dreams can be realized only in some far-off place. If you think that way, you’ll neglect the possibilities in your immediate surroundings. Most young people do, I fear, and become dissatisfied with their lives.” Kōetsu laughed. “But an idle old man like myself has no business preaching to the young.
–loc 10831

There was a difference between Musashi’s idea of preparation and his opponent’s. Denshichirō, though physically prepared, had only begun to pull himself together spiritually, whereas Musashi had started fighting long before he presented himself to his enemy. For him, the battle was now entering its second and central phase.
–loc 11228

His second opportunity came in the form of Denshichirō’s attempt to draw him out. One way of fighting would be to accept this; the other would be to ignore it and create an opening of his own. Caution was in order; in a case like this, victory is like the moon reflected on a lake. If one jumps for it impulsively, one can drown.
–loc 11235

It is said that one need not be young to enjoy playing games.
–loc 11326

The peony, remarked Yoshino, was the king of flowers. Perhaps it was only natural that its withered branches had a quality not to be found in ordinary wood, just as certain men had a worth not displayed by others. “How many men are there,” she mused, “whose merit endures after the blossoms have faded and died?” With a melancholy smile, she answered her own question. “We human beings blossom only during our youth, then become dry, odorless skeletons even before we die.”
–loc 11546

Why should I cling to A life so far removed from Beauty and passion? Peonies though lovely Shed their bright petals and die. Takuan’s poem was in the Japanese style. Mitsuhiro chose to write in the Chinese manner, setting down lines from a poem by Tsai Wen: When I am busy, the mountain looks at me. When I am at leisure, I look at the mountain. Though it seems the same, it is not the same, For busy-ness is inferior to leisure.
–loc 11559

Even as they bloom
A breath of sadness hangs
Over the flowers.
Do they think of the future,
When their petals will be gone?
–loc 11564

The servant returned in less than an hour with a note from Kōetsu: “When we have another chance, let us meet again. Life, though it may seem long, is in truth all too short. I beg you to take the best possible care of yourself. My regards from afar.”
–loc 11946

“You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t lead you straight to hell!” “This river, you know, may be the three-pronged river of hell; this road, the mile-long road to perdition; the hill I’ll soon climb, the mountain of needles on which the damned are impaled. Nevertheless, this is the only path toward true life.” “The way you talk, you may already be possessed by the god of death.” “Think what you like. *There are people who die by remaining alive and others who gain life by dying.
–loc 12561

It wasn’t that he had forgotten the lesson Takuan had taught him: the truly brave man is one who loves life, cherishing it as a treasure that once forfeited can never be recovered. He well knew that to live was more than merely to survive. The problem was how to imbue his life with meaning, how to ensure that his life would cast a bright ray of light into the future, even if it became necessary to give up that life for a cause. If he succeeded in doing this, the length of his life—twenty years or seventy—made little difference. A lifetime was only an insignificant interval in the endless flow of time.
–loc 12592

“I know myself better than anyone else does. I’m neither a genius nor a great man.”
–loc 12743

My dying will have a meaning to me, just as yours has to you. If you can face the end calmly, so can I. I won’t be trampled down like an insect, or drown in a moment of grief. I have to decide for myself. Nobody else can do it for me, not even you.”
–loc 12761

She felt her very soul had left her, but she did not think of this as a parting. It was more as though the two of them were being engulfed in a great wave of life and death.
–loc 12780

To the universe, the death of one man could hardly have any more significance than that of a butterfly, but in the realm of mankind, a single death could affect everything, for better or worse. Musashi’s only concern now was how to die a noble death.
–loc 12911

It’s because by painting a picture or carving an image of the Buddha, they draw closer to him. A swordsman can purify his spirit in the same way. We human beings all look up at the same moon, but there are many roads we may travel to reach the top of the peak nearest it. Sometimes, when we lose our way, we decide to try someone else’s, but the ultimate aim is to find fulfillment in life.”
–loc 13161

“Why, when you have a mother like yours, don’t you try to do something to make her happy? Having no parents, I can’t help feeling you’re not as grateful as you ought to be. It’s not that you don’t show her enough respect. But somehow, even though you’re blessed with the best thing a person can have, you seem to think no more of it than of so much dirt. If I had a mother like yours, I’d be much more eager to improve myself and do something really worthwhile simply because there’d be someone to share my happiness. Nobody rejoices over a person’s accomplishments as much as his parents.
–loc 13414

His hand glued to the underside of his sword hilt, Musashi’s eyes seemed to pierce Gonnosuke’s body. Inwardly, the battle had already begun, for the eye can damage a man more seriously than sword or staff. After the opening slice is made with the eye, the sword or staff slips in effortlessly.
–loc 14362

For the first time, he asked whether it was possible for an insignificant human being to become one with the universe.
–loc 14583

“Out with it. Speak. A man should state his thoughts simply and clearly.”
–loc 15275

When asked by one of his underlings why he displayed such deference toward a stranger, Yajibei confessed that he had acted very badly toward his own father and mother while they were still alive. “At my age,” he said, “I feel I have a filial duty to all older people.”
–loc 15429

Civilization, Musashi was thinking, does not flourish until men have learned to exercise control over the forces of nature. He wondered why the people here in the center of the Kanto Plain were so powerless, why they allowed themselves to be oppressed by nature. As the sun rose, Musashi caught glimpses of small animals and birds reveling in the riches that man had not yet learned to harvest. Or so it seemed.
–loc 16018

Still, Musashi thought, if a man dwells only on the dangers ahead, he cannot advance a single step, let alone make his way through life successfully.
–loc 16028

Furthermore, in the case of a child, no one, not even his parents, can actually guarantee his future. “Is it really possible to decide objectively what’s good for a child and what’s not?” he asked himself. “If it’s a matter of developing Sannosuke’s talents and guiding him in the right direction, I can do that. I guess that’s about as much as anyone can do.”
–loc 16029

He wanted to make a change, a radical one, since he’d long suspected that only those who had actually grown their own grain and vegetables really understood how sacred and valuable they were.
–loc 16096

A year or two earlier, he had wanted only to conquer all rivals, but now the idea that the sword existed for the purpose of giving him power over other people was unsatisfying. To cut people down, to triumph over them, to display the limits of one’s strength, seemed increasingly vain. He wanted to conquer himself, to make life itself submit to him, to cause people to live rather than die. The Way of the Sword should not be used merely for his own perfection. It should be a source of strength for governing people and leading them to peace and happiness.
–loc 16120

On the following day, it was still raining. Iori, delighted, took out the book again and said, “Shall we begin?” “Not today. You’ve had enough of reading for a while.” “Why?” “If you do nothing but read, you’ll lose sight of the reality around you. Why don’t you take the day off and play? I’m going to relax too.” “But I can’t go outside.” “Then just do like me,” said Musashi, sprawling on his back and crossing his arms under his head. “Do I have to lie down?” “Do what you want. Lie down, stand up, sit—whatever’s comfortable.”
–loc 16211

In his own way, he had submitted to the attitude of the peasants. On that day he became nature’s manservant. He ceased trying to impose his will on nature and let nature lead the way, while at the same time seeking out possibilities beyond the grasp of other inhabitants of the plain.
–loc 16252

“The same rules must apply to governing people,” he said to himself. In his notebook, he wrote: “Do not attempt to oppose the way of the universe. But first make sure you know the way of the universe.”
–loc 16256

A few minutes later, he reined up in front of the village headman’s gate. There, written in shiny ink on a fresh board, hung a sign: “Reminder for the People of the Village: Your plow is your sword. Your sword is your plow. Working in the fields, don’t forget the invasion. Thinking of the invasion, don’t forget your fields. All things must be balanced and integrated. Most important, do not oppose the Way of successive generations.”
–loc 16492

Musashi treated them all fairly and equally, first convincing them that it was pointless to live like animals. He then tried to impress upon them the importance of exerting a little extra effort so as to give their children a chance for a better life. To be real human beings, he told them, they must work for the sake of posterity.
–loc 16575

“He must be awfully important. That’s what I want to be when I grow up.” “Important?” “Umm.” “You shouldn’t aim so low.” “What do you mean?” “Look at Mount Fuji.” “I’ll never be like Mount Fuji.” “Instead of wanting to be like this or that, make yourself into a silent, immovable giant. That’s what the mountain is. Don’t waste your time trying to impress people. If you become the sort of man people can respect, they’ll respect you, without your doing anything.
–loc 16635

“When people live together in harmony, the earth is a paradise,” Musashi went on gravely. “But every man has a bad side as well as a good side. There are times when only the bad comes out. Then the world’s not paradise, but hell. Do you understand what I’m saying?” “Yes, I think so,” said Iori, more subdued now. “There’s a reason we have manners and etiquette. They keep us from letting the bad side take over. This promotes social order, which is the objective of the government’s laws.” Musashi paused. “The way you acted . . . It was a trivial matter, but your attitude couldn’t help but make the man angry. I’m not at all happy about it.”
–loc 16676

the lessons he teaches his disciples.” “As I’m sure you know, the Hon’ami family served the Ashikaga shōguns. From time to time they’ve also been called upon to polish the Emperor’s swords. Kōetsu was always saying that Japanese swords were created not to kill or injure people but to maintain the imperial rule and protect the nation, to subdue devils and drive out evil. The sword is the samurai’s soul; he carries it for no other purpose than to maintain his own integrity. It is an ever-present admonition to the man who rules over other men and seeks in doing so to follow the Way of Life. It’s only natural that the craftsman who polishes the sword must also polish the swordsman’s spirit.”
–loc 16860

“The owners are like parents who protect their children so jealously that the children grow up to be fools. In the case of children, more are being born all the time—doesn’t make any difference if a few are stupid. But swords .
–loc 16926

“What was it you noticed about him? You only saw him from a distance.”
“You wouldn’t understand. When you do, you’ll be old and withered like me.”
“But there must have been something.”
“I admired his alertness. He wasn’t taking any chances, even on a sick old man like me. When he came through the gate, he paused and looked around—at the layout of the house, at the windows, whether they were open or closed, at the path to the garden—everything. He took it all in at a single glance. There was nothing unnatural about it. Anyone would have assumed he was simply halting for a moment as a sign of deference. I was amazed.”
–loc 17779

Remember, when the cherry blossom falls, it must rely on the wind to spread its pollen.”
“You mustn’t fall, Father. You must try to live.”
The old man glared and raised his head. “Talk like that proves you’re still a child!
–loc 17798

It pleased him that today, as on other days, he had on spotless underwear, in the tradition of the good samurai, who started each day with a smile and an uncertainty: by evening he might be a corpse.
–loc 18262

When they finally reached a pine-covered knoll, Musashi made a quick survey of the terrain and said, “This’ll do fine.” To him, any place could serve as home—more than that: wherever he happened to be was the universe.
–loc 18475

An old saying came back to his mind: it is easy to surpass a predecessor, but difficult to avoid being surpassed by a successor.
–loc 19061

“In my opinion, this is something that happens to all men. Age creeps up on us while we’re not looking. Times change. The followers surpass their leaders. A younger generation opens up a new way. . . . This is the way it ought to be, for the world advances only through change. Yet this is inadmissible in the field of swordsmanship. The Way of the Sword must be a way that does not permit a man to age.
–loc 19074

Tadaaki stood up. “I, too, must take my leave of the world.” Suppressed sobs were audible. His final words were stern, yet full of affection. “Why mourn? Your day has come. It’s up to you to see that this school advances into a new age with honor. Beginning now, be humble, work hard and try with all your might to cultivate your spirit.”
–loc 19129

He felt he had arrived at an undeniable truth: custom had made the unnatural appear natural, and vice versa.
–loc 19319

While custom was bred by daily experience, being on the boundary between life and death was something that occurred only a few times during a lifetime. Yet the ultimate aim of the Way of the Sword was to be able to stand on the brink of death at any time: facing death squarely, unflinchingly, should be as familiar as all other daily experiences. And the process had to be a conscious one, though movement should be as free as if it were purely reflexive.
–loc 19320

“Well, young people do grow up. Old people just get older, no matter how hard they work at staying young.”
–loc 19610

It seemed to be the story of the man’s life, but then, Takuan reflected, that couldn’t have been too different from his own. Whether people were great or not, there was not much variety in their inner life experience. Any difference lay merely in how they dealt with common human weaknesses. To Takuan, both he and the other man were basically a bundle of illusions wrapped in human skin.
–loc 19756

To hear you tell it, you’re doing something grand for the sake of other people. In fact, you’re putting yourself before others. Has it not occurred to you that you leave quite a number of people unhappy?” “One can’t consider himself when one is working on behalf of society.” “Stupid fool!” He struck Jōtarō soundly on the cheek with his fist. “One’s self is the basis of everything. Every action is a manifestation of the self. A person who doesn’t know himself can do nothing for others.”
–loc 19832

It occurred to Musashi what an odd fact it was that most children could draw—and sing, for that matter—but that they forgot how to as they grew older. Perhaps the little bit of wisdom they acquired inhibited them. He himself was no exception.
–loc 20456

In some ways, Iori was too serious for his years. He paid close attention to his personal finances, never wasted a thing, was meticulously neat, and felt grateful for every bowl of rice, every fair day. He was, in short, fastidious, and he looked down on people who were not.
–loc 20942

“Don’t let it worry you. We don’t have anything worth stealing.”
“We have our lives! They’re not nothing.”
“Ha, ha. I keep my life locked up. Don’t you?”
–loc 21065

I tell you, Sado, there’s nothing worse than having people make you out to be more than you are.
–loc 21387

“If you can bear up under hardship, you can experience a pleasure greater than the pain,” Musashi said solemnly. “Day and night, hour by hour, people are buffeted by waves of pain and pleasure, one after the other. If they try to experience only pleasure, they cease to be truly alive. Then the pleasure evaporates.”
–loc 21733

An easy existence imposed restrictions; he could not submit to them.
–loc 21748

“To tell the truth, I myself have run up against a wall. There are times when I wonder if I have any future. I feel completely empty. It’s like being confined in a shell. I hate myself. I tell myself I’m no good. But by chastising myself and forcing myself to go on, I manage to kick through the shell. Then a new path opens up before me.
–loc 21757

Speculation wouldn’t get him very far. The Art of War demanded that he find out where he stood and act accordingly.
–loc 21864

“If I desert the Way, I fall into the depths. Yet when I try to pursue it to the peak, I find I’m not up to the task. I’m twisting in the wind halfway up, neither the swordsman nor the human being I want to be.” “That seems to sum it up.” “You can’t know how desperate I’ve been. What should I do? Tell me! How can I free myself from inaction and confusion?” “Why ask me? You can only rely on yourself.”
–loc 21931

Musashi reread the last two lines. Leaves and branches . . . How many people were thrown off course by irrelevant matters? Was he himself not an example? While the thought seemed to lighten his burden, his doubts would not go away. Why would his sword not obey him? Why did his eyes wander from his goal? What prevented him from achieving serenity?
–loc 21982

People had long since stopped talking about her great beauty. Flowers bloomed and flowers fell.
–loc 22471

Musashi resented being a public hero. In view of his exploits, it was inevitable that he would be made one, but he did not seek this. What he really wanted was more time to himself for meditation. He needed to develop harmony, to make sure his ideas did not outpace his ability to act.
–loc 22494

“I think this trip may be the decisive point in Musashi’s life. He disciplines himself constantly. He isn’t likely to lose to Kojirō. Still, in a fight like that, you never know. There’s a superhuman element involved. All warriors have to face it; winning or losing is partly a matter of luck.”
–loc 22525

“It’ll be a test of strength between a man who’s a genius, but really somewhat conceited, and an ordinary man who’s polished his talents to the utmost, won’t it?” “I wouldn’t call Musashi ordinary.” “But he is. That’s what’s extraordinary about him. He’s not content with relying on whatever natural gifts he may have. Knowing he’s ordinary, he’s always trying to improve himself. No one appreciates the agonizing effort he’s had to make. Now that his years of training have yielded such spectacular results, everybody’s talking about his ‘god-given talent.’ That’s how men who don’t try very hard comfort themselves.”
–loc 22530

Kōetsu looked like what he was, a man of leisure who had deliberately set himself apart from the rest of the world. At the moment, his eyes lacked that gleam that emanated from them when he concentrated on artistic creation. Now they were like a smooth sea, calm and unruffled, under a clear, bright sky.
–loc 22537

“He said you don’t have to be in a temple to practice religious discipline. It’s more difficult, but he said it’s more praiseworthy to be able to control yourself and keep your faith in the midst of lies and filth and conflict—all the ugly things in the outside world—than in the clean, pure surroundings of a temple.”
–loc 22583

Kojirō disagreed. “The whole point of the Art of War is to be quick to seize an opening. Even when a man takes precautions, it often happens that his opponent will have anticipated them and devised means of offsetting them. It’s much better to approach the situation with an open mind and move with perfect freedom.
–loc 22819

“You have to do more than just practice martial arts, you know. You have to learn from books. And although you should be the first to help when help is needed, you should try to be more modest than the other boys.”
–loc 22988

“You’re bright, Iori, but be careful. Don’t let your rough upbringing get the best of you. Keep yourself under tight rein. You’re still a child; you have a long life ahead of you. Guard it carefully. Save it until you can give it for a really good cause—for your country, your honor, the Way of the Samurai. Hold on to your life and make it honest and brave.”
–loc 22992

“You can win, though, can’t you, Sensei?” “I wouldn’t even waste my time thinking about it.” “You mean you’re sure you won’t lose?” “Even if I do lose, I promise to do it bravely.”
–loc 23004

“Everyone has a public and private life,” he thought. “Behind all that fanfare, a woman stands weeping her heart out.”
–loc 23246

He saw the white paper as the great universe of nonexistence. A single stroke would give rise to existence within it. He could evoke rain or wind at will, but whatever he drew, his heart would remain in the painting forever. If his heart was tainted, the picture would be tainted; if his heart was listless, so would the picture be. If he attempted to make a show of his craftsmanship, it could not be concealed. Men’s bodies fade away, but ink lives on. The image of his heart would continue to breathe after he himself was gone.
–loc 23312

A samurai’s wife must not weep and go to pieces when he goes off to war. Laugh for me, Otsū. Send me away with a smile. This may be your husband’s last departure.”
–loc 23405

Waiting just long enough for a wave to strike the reef and retreat, Musashi suddenly said in a quiet voice, “You’ve lost, Kojirō.” “What?” Ganryū was shaken to the core. “The fight’s been fought. I say you’ve been defeated.” “What are you talking about?” “If you were going to win, you wouldn’t throw your scabbard away. You’ve cast away your future, your life.”
–loc 23534

Their lives were totally absorbed in deadly combat, and both were free from conscious thought.
–loc 23551

Kojirō had put his confidence in the sword of strength and skill. Musashi trusted in the sword of the spirit. That was the only difference between them.
–loc 23598

Norse Mythology

Author: Neil Gaiman
Rating: 8/10
Last Read: Feb 2017

Quick Summary: While I vaguely know the characters and events in the Norse mythology, I actually hadn’t read any of the stories themselves. I was quite surprised to see that Neil Gaiman had taken a stab at rewriting some of the myths.  His retelling of the stories had me laughing regularly (unless I was cursing Loki for more of his dangerous antics).  I’m always in search of some good light reading before bed.  And I love mythology – the stories and the characters contain important insights and lessons to learn from.  The only disappointing part is that I was able to finish this book in two sittings!

My Highlights

Some norns give people good lives, and others give us hard lives, or short lives, or twisted lives. They will shape your fate, there at Urd’s well.
–loc 233

“One drink from the water of your well, Uncle Mimir,” said Odin. “That is all I ask for.” Mimir shook his head. Nobody drank from the well but Mimir himself. He said nothing: seldom do those who are silent make mistakes.
–loc 241

Hoenir was tall and good-looking, and he looked like a king. When Mimir was with him to advise him, Hoenir also spoke like a king and made wise decisions. But when Mimir was not with him, Hoenir seemed unable to come to a decision, and the Vanir soon tired of this. They took their revenge, not on Hoenir but on Mimir: they cut off Mimir’s head and sent it to Odin. Odin was not angry. He rubbed Mimir’s head with certain herbs to prevent it from rotting, and he chanted charms and incantations over it, for he did not wish Mimir’s knowledge to be lost. Soon enough Mimir opened his eyes and spoke to him. Mimir’s advice was good, as it was always good.
–loc 255

“Because,” said Thor, “when something goes wrong, the first thing I always think is, it is Loki’s fault. It saves a lot of time.”
–loc 274

It’s called Mjollnir, the lightning-maker. First of all, it’s unbreakable—doesn’t matter how hard you hit something with it, the hammer will always be undamaged.” Thor looked interested. He had already broken a great many weapons over the years, normally by hitting things with them. “If you throw the hammer, it will never miss what you throw it at.” Thor looked even more interested. He had lost a number of otherwise excellent weapons by throwing them at things that irritated him and missing, and he had watched too many weapons he had thrown disappear into the distance, never to be seen again. “No matter how hard or how far you throw it, it will always return to your hand.” Thor was now actually smiling. And the thunder god did not often smile.
–loc 402

“I . . . will ransom my head,” said Loki. “I have treasures I can give you.”
“Eitri and I already have all the treasure we need,” said Brokk. “We make treasures. No, Loki. I want your head.”
–loc 422

“You are fools,” she said. “Especially you, Loki, because you think yourself clever.”
–loc 482

“Loki son of Laufey,” said Odin, “this is the result of your poor counsel.”
“And it was as bad as all your other advice,” said Balder.
Loki shot him a resentful glance.
“We need the builder to lose his wager,” said Odin. “Without violating the oath. He must fail.”
“I don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” said Loki.
I do not expect anything from you,” said Odin. “But if this builder succeeds in finishing his wall by the end of tomorrow, then your death will be painful, and long, and a bad and shameful death at that.
–loc 569

The wolf cub ate its meat raw, but it spoke as a man would speak, in the language of men and the gods, and it was proud. The little beast was called Fenrir.
–loc 700

“You lie, All-father. You lie in the way that some folk breathe.
–loc 767

“Fair enough,” said Thor. “What’s the price?”
“Freya’s hand in marriage.”
“He just wants her hand?” asked Thor hopefully. She had two hands, after all, and might be persuaded to give up one of them without too much of an argument. Tyr had, after all.
“All of her,” said Loki. “He wants to marry her.”
–loc 852

Do you wonder where poetry comes from? Where we get the songs we sing and the tales we tell? Do you ever ask yourself how it is that some people can dream great, wise, beautiful dreams and pass those dreams on as poetry to the world, to be sung and retold as long as the sun rises and sets, as long as the moon will wax and wane? Have you ever wondered why some people make beautiful songs and poems and tales, and some of us do not? It is a long story, and it does no credit to anyone: there is murder in it, and trickery, lies and foolishness, seduction and pursuit. Listen.
–loc 972

No one, then or now, wanted to drink the mead that came out of Odin’s ass. But whenever you hear bad poets declaiming their bad poetry, filled with foolish similes and ugly rhymes, you will know which of the meads they have tasted.
–loc 1246

It is not the end. There is no end. It is simply the end of the old times, Loki, and the beginning of the new times. Rebirth always follows death.
–loc 2415

Dune

Author: Frank Herbert
Rating: 10/10
Last Read: November 2015, July 2018

Quick Summary: Dune is my favorite book.  I have read this book at least ten times, and I think I might be lowballing myself.  

Dune is a 1950s sci-fi epic set in the far future.  Man has given up his reliance on thinking machines, and various specialized schools of humanity have developed.  The story centers on Paul Atreides, a young noble whose family is given dominion over a desert planet whose primary resource (“the spice”) is used and coveted by the rest of the planets of man.  Traps and plans laid for generations come to fruition as many groups fight for control over the spice, the planet, and Paul himself. 

Frank Herbert weaves many political, religious, power, and ecological ideas into Dune.  There is much wisdom found buried inside an excellent story.

Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part upon the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected upon him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from belief in his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.

My Highlights

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. –loc 88

“A popular man arouses the jealousy of the powerful,” Hawat had said. –loc 118

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” –loc 202

The old woman said: “You’ve heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There’s an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind.” –loc 210

“Hope clouds observation.” –loc 239

He understood terrible purposes. They drove against all odds. They were their own necessity. –loc 254

“Why do you test for humans?” he asked.
“To set you free.”

–loc 259

“Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.” –loc 260

“Listen to my nephew,” the Baron said. “He aspires to rule my Barony, yet he cannot rule himself.” –loc 367

However, as someone once observed, given the right lever you can move a planet. –loc 418

“I see in the future what I’ve seen in the past. You well know the pattern of our affairs, Jessica. The race knows its own mortality and fears stagnation of its heredity. It’s in the bloodstream—the urge to mingle genetic strains without plan. –loc 483

In politics, the tripod is the most unstable of all structures. –loc 492

“Jessica, girl, I wish I could stand in your place and take your sufferings. But each of us must make her own path.” –loc 506

In a low voice, she said: “I’ve been so lonely.”
“It should be one of the tests,” the old woman said. “Humans are almost always lonely.”
–loc 512

The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows—a wall against the wind. This is the willow’s purpose.” –loc 556

Parting with friends is a sadness. A place is only a place. –loc 596

“Grave this on your memory, lad: A world is supported by four things….” She held up four big-knuckled fingers. “…the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous and the valor of the brave. But all of these are as nothing….” She closed her fingers into a fist. “…without a ruler who knows the art of ruling. Make that the science of your tradition!” –loc 625

“She asked me to tell her what it is to rule,” Paul said. “And I said that one commands. And she said I had some unlearning to do.” –loc 642

“She said a ruler must learn to persuade and not to compel. She said he must lay the best coffee hearth to attract the finest men.” –loc 644

the mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience. –loc 650

‘A process cannot be understood by stopping it. Understanding must move with the flow of the process, must join it and flow with it.’ –loc 651

“Mood?” Halleck’s voice betrayed his outrage even through the shield’s filtering. “What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises—no matter the mood! Mood’s a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It’s not for fighting.” –loc 714

“If wishes were fishes we’d all cast nets” –loc 766

Then, what deafness may we not all possess? What senses do we lack that we cannot see and cannot hear another world all around us? –loc 824

The truth could be worse than he imagines, but even dangerous facts are valuable if you’ve been trained to deal with them. –loc 868

“Knowing where the trap is—that’s the first step in evading it. –loc 886

“How could you win the loyalty of such men?” “There are proven ways: play on the certain knowledge of their superiority, the mystique of secret covenant, the esprit of shared suffering. It can be done. It has been done on many worlds in many times.” –loc 907

“The mind commands the body and it obeys. The mind orders itself and meets resistance.” –loc 1064

There are worse things than dying, you know—even for an entire people. –loc 1085

“Can you remember your first taste of spice?”
“It tasted like cinnamon.”
“But never twice the same,” he said. “It’s like life—it presents a different face each time you take it.
–loc 1287

For the others, we can say that Muad’Dib learned rapidly because his first training was in how to learn. And the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn. It is shocking to find how many people do not believe they can learn, and how many more believe learning to be difficult. –loc 1314

“Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test that it’s a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.” –loc 1380

Please permit the room to convey a lesson we learned from the same teachers: the proximity of a desirable thing tempts one to overindulgence. On that path lies danger. –loc 1435

Command must always look confident, he thought. All that faith riding on your shoulders while you sit in the critical seat and never show it. –loc 1619

There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man—with human flesh. –loc 2013

“Nothing wins more loyalty for a leader than an air of bravura,” the Duke said. “I, therefore, cultivate an air of bravura.” –loc 2044

But the young body carried a sense of command, a poised assurance, as though he saw and knew things all around him that were not visible to others. –loc 2092

A gift is the blessing of the giver.’” –loc 2128

“What is money,” Kynes asked, “if it won’t buy the services you need?” –loc 2222

“When God hath ordained a creature to die in a particular place, He causeth that creature’s wants to direct him to that place.” –loc 2469

Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part upon the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected upon him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from belief in his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man. –loc 2475

A thing to note about any espionage and/or counter-espionage school is the similar basic reaction pattern of all its graduates. Any enclosed discipline sets its stamp, its pattern, upon its students. That pattern is susceptible to analysis and prediction. –loc 2654

“It’s a rule of ecology,” Kynes said, “that the young Master appears to understand quite well. The struggle between life elements is the struggle for the free energy of a system. Blood’s an efficient energy source.” –loc 2685

“Freely given, freely accepted,” –loc 2703

“Growth is limited by that necessity which is present in the least amount. And, naturally, the least favorable condition controls the growth rate.” –loc 2717

“When strangers meet, great allowance should be made for differences of custom and training.” –loc 2816

There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors. –loc 2862

“Humans live best when each has his own place, when each knows where he belongs in the scheme of things. Destroy the place and destroy the person. –loc 3002

“Anything outside yourself, this you can see and apply your logic to it,” she said. “But it’s a human trait that when we encounter personal problems, those things most deeply personal are the most difficult to bring out for our logic to scan. We tend to flounder around, blaming everything but the actual, deep-seated thing that’s really chewing on us.” –loc 3014

There should be a science of discontent. People need hard times and oppression to develop psychic muscles. –loc 3169

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife—chopping off what’s incomplete and saying: “Now, it’s complete because it’s ended here.” –loc 3361

The mind goes on working no matter how we try to hold it back
–loc 3703

“A time to get and time to lose,” Jessica thought, quoting to herself from the O.C. Bible. “A time to keep and a time to cast away; a time for love and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.” –loc 3766

“They say: ‘Be prepared to appreciate what you meet.’” –loc 3875

“Fate is the same for everyone,” the Fremen said. “Your Duke, it is said, has met his fate. –loc 4067

Superstitions sometimes have strange roots and stranger branchings.” –loc 4284

“Blackmail?”
“One of the tools of statecraft, as you’ve said yourself,” Paul said
–loc 4292

What do you despise? By this are you truly known. —FROM “MANUAL OF MUAD’DIB” –loc 4420

We came from Caladan—a paradise world for our form of life. There existed no need on Caladan to build a physical paradise or a paradise of the mind—we could see the actuality all around us. And the price we paid was the price men have always paid for achieving a paradise in this life—we went soft, we lost our edge. –loc 4892

Whether a thought is spoken or not it is a real thing and it has power –loc 4938

“You think that day will come?”
“I have little to do with how you’ll meet tomorrow, Gurney Halleck. I can only help you meet today.”
–loc 4944

“Fortune passes everywhere,” –loc 4986

Subtlety and self-control were, after all, the most deadly threats to us all. –loc 5018

Paul spoke without turning: “I find myself enjoying the quiet here.” How the mind gears itself for its environment, she thought. And she recalled a Bene Gesserit axiom: “The mind can go either direction under stress—toward positive or toward negative: on or off. Think of it as a spectrum whose extremes are unconsciousness at the negative end and hyperconsciousness at the positive end. The way the mind will lean under stress is strongly influenced by training.” –loc 5030

Science is made up of so many things that appear obvious after they are explained. –loc 5253

Then, as his planet killed him, it occurred to Kynes that his father and all the other scientists were wrong, that the most persistent principles of the universe were accident and error. –loc 5301

“To save one from a mistake is a gift of paradise,” –loc 5471

She knew what it was—she had succumbed to that profound drive shared by all creatures who are faced with death—the drive to seek immortality through progeny. The fertility drive of the species had overpowered them. –loc 5588

A leader, you see, is one of the things that distinguishes a mob from a people. He maintains the level of individuals. Too few individuals, and a people reverts to a mob.” –loc 5601

The young reed dies so easily. Beginnings are times of such great peril. –loc 5616

“Keep the mind on the knife and not on the hand that holds it,” Gurney Halleck had told him time and again. “The knife is more dangerous than the hand and the knife can be in either hand.” –loc 5835

“Survival is the ability to swim in strange water.” –loc 5950

“From water does all life begin.” –loc 5956

The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. –loc 6148

“It’s easier to be terrified by an enemy you admire.” –loc 6401

‘Do not count a human dead until you’ve seen his body. And even then you can make a mistake.’” –loc 6497

“To accept a little death is worse than death itself,” –loc 6763

“Usul, you’re crying,” Chani murmured. “Usul, my strength, do you give moisture to the dead? To whose dead?”
“To ones not yet dead,” he said.
“Then let them have their time of life,” she said.
–loc 6919

Else why bargain? One bargains with equals or near equals! –loc 7022

“Hawat’s a dangerous toy,” Feyd-Rautha said.
“Toy! Don’t be stupid. I know what I have in Hawat and how to control it. Hawat has deep emotions, Feyd. The man without emotions is the one to fear. But deep emotions… ah, now, those can be bent to your needs.” –loc 7050

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic. –loc 7084

Yet, it is possible to see peril in the finding of ultimate perfection. It is clear that the ultimate pattern contains its own fixity. In such perfection, all things move toward death. –loc 7224

She had quoted a Bene Gesserit proverb to him: “When religion and politics travel in the same cart, the riders believe nothing can stand in their way. Their movement becomes headlong—faster and faster and faster. They put aside all thought of obstacles and forget that a precipice does not show itself to the man in a blind rush until it’s too late.” –loc 7270

“Give as few orders as possible,” his father had told him once long ago. “Once you’ve given orders on a subject, you must always give orders on that subject.” –loc 7371

“Control the coinage and the courts—let the rabble have the rest.” Thus the Padishah Emperor advised you. And he tells you: “If you want profits, you must rule.” There is truth in these words, but I ask myself: “Who are the rabble and who are the ruled?” –loc 7445

“All men beneath your position covet your station,” –loc 8094

“Prophets have a way of dying by violence.” –loc 8096

“My father had an instinct for his friends,” Paul said. “He gave his love sparingly, but with never an error. His weakness lay in misunderstanding hatred. –loc 8246

“One of the most terrible moments in a boy’s life,” Paul said, “is when he discovers his father and mother are human beings who share a love that he can never quite taste. It’s a loss, an awakening to the fact that the world is there and here and we are in it alone. The moment carries its own truth; you can’t evade it. I heard my father when he spoke of my mother.
–loc 8251

“There is in each of us an ancient force that takes and an ancient force that gives. A man finds little difficulty facing that place within himself where the taking force dwells, but it’s almost impossible for him to see into the giving force without changing into something other than man. For a woman, the situation is reversed.” –loc 8471

There should be a word-tension directly opposite to adab, the demanding memory, she thought. There should be a word for memories that deny themselves. –loc 8953

“How would you like to live billions upon billions of lives?” Paul asked. “There’s a fabric of legends for you! Think of all those experiences, the wisdom they’d bring. But wisdom tempers love, doesn’t it? And it puts a new shape on hate. How can you tell what’s ruthless unless you’ve plumbed the depths of both cruelty and kindness?
–loc 8962

The Guild navigators, gifted with limited prescience, had made the fatal decision: they’d chosen always the clear, safe course that leads ever downward into stagnation. –loc 8996

“Was that their plan?” Jessica said.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Paul asked.
“I see the signs!” Jessica snapped. “My question was meant to remind you that you should not try to teach me those matters in which I instructed you.”
–loc 9132

“Expect only what happens in the fight. That way you’ll never be surprised.”

Steppenwolf

Author: Herman Hesse
Rating: 10/10
Last Read: October 2016

Quick Summary: 

I started this book three times, but always failed to get past the same spot every time (Magic theater – entrance not for everybody).  However, finally I managed to make it past that section to the treatise on the Steppenwolf, and holy shit. What a book.

In short summary, the book is simply about this:

There was once a man, Harry, called the Steppenwolf. He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal of all that people of a good intelligence can, and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life. The cause of this apparently was that at the bottom of his heart he knew all the time (or thought he knew) that he was in reality not a man, but a wolf of the Steppes.

This man is trapped between two ideals for what life entails.  But he learns that perhaps there are more aspects than the ones he understands.

Harry consists of a hundred or a thousand selves, not of two. His life oscillates, as everyone’s does, not merely between two poles, such as the body and the spirit, the saint and the sinner, but between thousand and thousands.

I hate to think that this is the book that makes me say, “Here I am! Here are the things I learned! Steppenwolf is about me!” I even only just learned to love dancing! What does that say? That I am just one of the many who belongs in the counterculture movement?  Perhaps my friends would not be so surprised, but I am!

For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity.

No prospect was more hateful and distasteful to him than that he should have to go to an office and conform to daily and yearly routine and obey others.

My Highlights

A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. –loc 37

For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity. –loc 40

At every other step were placards and posters with their various attractions, Ladies’ Orchestra, Variété, Cinema, Ball. But none of these was for me. They were for “everybody,” for those normal persons whom I saw crowding every entrance. –loc 130

It is remarkable, all that men can swallow. For a good ten minutes I read a newspaper. I allowed the spirit of an irresponsible man who chews and munches another’s words in his mouth, and gives them out again undigested, to enter into me through my eyes. I absorbed a whole column of it. And then I devoured a large piece cut from the liver of a slaughtered calf. Odd indeed! –loc 146

Who read by night above the Rhine the cloudscript of the drifting mists? It was the Steppenwolf. And who over the ruins of his life pursued its fleeting, fluttering significance, while he suffered its seeming meaninglessness and lived its seeming madness, and who hoped in secret at the last turn of the labyrinth of Chaos for revelation and God’s presence? –loc 173

How foolish to wear oneself out in vain longing for warmth! Solitude is independence. It had been my wish and with the years I had attained it. It was cold. Oh, cold enough! But it was also still, wonderfully still and vast like the cold stillness of space in which the stars revolve. –loc 192

There was once a man, Harry, called the Steppenwolf. He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal of all that people of a good intelligence can, and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life. The cause of this apparently was that at the bottom of his heart he knew all the time (or thought he knew) that he was in reality not a man, but a wolf of the Steppes. –loc 257

But it was exactly the same when Harry felt and behaved as a wolf and showed others his teeth and felt hatred and enmity against all human beings and their lying and degenerate manners and customs. For then the human part of him lay in ambush and watched the wolf, called him brute and beast, and spoiled and embittered for him all pleasure in his simple and healthy and wild wolf’s being. –loc 283

Thus it was then with the Steppenwolf, and one may well imagine that Harry did not have an exactly pleasant and happy life of it. This does not mean, however, that he was unhappy in any extraordinary degree (although it may have seemed so to himself all the same, inasmuch as every man takes the sufferings that fall to his share as the greatest). –loc 286

even the unhappiest life has its sunny moments and its little flowers of happiness between sand and stone. –loc 289

There are a good many people of the same kind as Harry. Many artists are of his kind. These persons all have two souls, two beings within them. There is God and the devil in them; the mother’s blood and the father’s; the capacity for happiness and the capacity for suffering; and in just such a state of enmity and entanglement towards and within each other as were the wolf and man in Harry. And these men, for whom life has no repose, live at times in their rare moments of happiness with such strength and indescribable beauty, the spray of their moment’s happiness is flung so high and dazzlingly over the wide sea of suffering, that the light of it, spreading its radiance, touches others too with its enchantment. –loc 310

All these men, whatever their deeds and works may be, have really no life; that is to say, their lives are not their own and have no form. They are not heroes, artists or thinkers in the same way that other men are judges, doctors, shoemakers, or schoolmasters. Their life consists of a perpetual tide, unhappy and torn with pain, terrible and meaningless, unless one is ready to see its meaning in just those rare experiences, acts, thoughts and works that shine out above the chaos of such a life. To such men the desperate and horrible thought has come that perhaps the whole of human life is but a bad joke, a violent and ill-fated abortion of the primal mother, a savage and dismal catastrophe of nature. To them, too, however, the other thought has come that man is perhaps not merely a half-rational animal but a child of the gods and destined to immortality. –loc 317

No prospect was more hateful and distasteful to him than that he should have to go to an office and conform to daily and yearly routine and obey others. –loc 332

In the beginning his dream and his happiness, in the end it was his bitter fate. The man of power is ruined by power, the man of money by money, the submissive man by subservience, the pleasure seeker by pleasure. He achieved his aim. He was ever more independent. He took orders from no man and ordered his ways to suit no man. –loc 337

“I am curious to see all the same just how much a man can endure. If the limit of what is bearable is reached, I have only to open the door to escape.” There are a great many suicides to whom this thought imparts an uncommon strength. –loc 378

Now what we call “bourgeois,” when regarded as an element always to be found in human life, is nothing else than the search for a balance. It is the striving after a mean between the countless extremes and opposites that arise in human conduct. –loc 419

Now it is between the two, in the middle of the road, that the bourgeois seeks to walk. He will never surrender himself either to lust or to asceticism. He will never be a martyr or agree to his own destruction. On the contrary, his ideal is not to give up but to maintain his own identity. –loc 425

In short, his aim is to make a home for himself between two extremes in a temperate zone without violent storms and tempests; and in this he succeeds though it be at the cost of that intensity of life and feeling which an extreme life affords. –loc 428

A man cannot live intensely except at the cost of the self. –loc 430

The bourgeois is consequently by nature a creature of weak impulses, anxious, fearful of giving himself away and easy to rule. Therefore, he has substituted majority for power, law for force, and the polling booth for responsibility. –loc 433

Neither the great numbers of the herd, nor virtue, nor common sense, nor organization could avail to save it from destruction. No medicine in the world can keep a pulse beating that from the outset was so weak. Nevertheless the bourgeoisie prospers. Why? –loc 438

There is always a large number of strong and wild natures who share the life of the fold. –loc 443

And so all through the mass of the real bourgeoisie are interposed numerous layers of humanity, many thousands of lives and minds, every one of whom, it is true, would have outgrown it and have obeyed the call to unconditioned life, were they not fastened to it by sentiments of their childhood and infected for the most part with its less intense life; and so they are kept lingering, obedient and bound by obligation and service. –loc 446

Most intellectuals and most artists belong to the same type. Only the strongest of them force their way through the atmosphere of the bourgeois earth and attain to the cosmic. The others all resign themselves or make compromises. Despising the bourgeoisie, and yet belonging to it, they add to its strength and glory; for in the last resort they have to share their beliefs in order to live. –loc 454

Humor alone, that magnificent discovery of those who are cut short in their calling to highest endeavor, those who falling short of tragedy are yet as rich in gifts as in affliction, humor alone (perhaps the most inborn and brilliant achievement of the spirit) attains to the impossible and brings every aspect of human existence within the rays of its prism. To live in the world as though it were not the world, to respect the law and yet to stand above it, to have possessions as though “one possessed nothing,” to renounce as though it were no renunciation, all these favorite and often formulated propositions of an exalted worldly wisdom, it is in the power of humor alone to make efficacious. –loc 467

So too, to come to the point, is the Steppenwolf a fiction. When Harry feels himself to be a were-wolf, and chooses to consist of two hostile and opposed beings, he is merely availing himself of a mythological simplification. –loc 500

Harry consists of a hundred or a thousand selves, not of two. His life oscillates, as everyone’s does, not merely between two poles, such as the body and the spirit, the saint and the sinner, but between thousand and thousands. –loc 515

Man is not capable of thought in any high degree, and even the most spiritual and highly cultivated of men habitually sees the world and himself through the lenses of delusive formulas and artless simplifications–and most of all himself. –loc 519

For it appears to be an inborn and imperative need of all men to regard the self as a unit. However often and however grievously this illusion is shattered, it always mends again. –loc 520

A man, therefore, who gets so far as making the supposed unity of the self two-fold is already almost a genius, in any case a most exceptional and interesting person. –loc 528

In reality, however, every ego, so far from being a unity is in the highest degree a manifold world, a constellated heaven, a chaos of forms, of states and stages, of inheritances and potentialities. It appears to be a necessity as imperative as eating and breathing for everyone to be forced to regard this chaos as a unity and to speak of his ego as though it were a one-fold and clearly detached and fixed phenomenon. Even the best of us shares the delusion. –loc 530

But things are not so simple in life as in our thoughts, nor so rough and ready as in our poor idiotic language –loc 561

That man is not yet a finished creation but rather a challenge of the spirit; a distant possibility dreaded as much as it is desired; that the way towards it has only been covered for a very short distance and with terrible agonies and ecstasies even by those few for whom it is the scaffold today and the monument tomorrow–all –loc 576

Even the wolf has two, and more than two, souls in his wolf’s breast, and he who desires to be a wolf falls into the same forgetfulness as the man who sings: “If I could be a child once more!” He who sentimentally sings of blessed childhood is thinking of the return to nature and innocence and the origin of things, and has quite forgotten that these blessed children are beset with conflict and complexities and capable of all suffering. –loc 599

Instead of narrowing your world and simplifying your soul, you will have to absorb more and more of the world and at last take all of it up in your painfully expanded soul, if you are ever to find peace. –loc 608

We are not dealing here with man as he is known to economics and statistics, as he is seen thronging the streets by the million, and of whom no more account can be made than of the sand of the sea or the spray of its waves. We are not concerned with the few millions less or more. They are a stock-in-trade, nothing else. No, we are speaking of man in the highest sense, of the end of the long road to true manhood, of kingly men, of the immortals. Genius is not so rare as we sometimes think; nor, certainly, so frequent as may appear from history books or, indeed, from the newspapers. –loc 614

A man who can understand Buddha and has an intuition of the heaven and hell of humanity ought not to live in a world ruled by “common sense” and democracy and bourgeois standards. –loc 621

It is true that every time my life was shattered in this way I had in the end gained something, some increase in liberty and in spiritual growth and depth, but with it went an increased loneliness, an increasing chill of severance and estrangement. –loc 693

so it is with the majority of men day by day and hour by hour in their daily lives and affairs. Without really wanting to at all, they pay calls and carry on conversations, sit out their hours at desks and on office chairs; and it is all compulsory, mechanical and against the grain, and it could all be done or left undone just as well by machines; and indeed it is this never-ceasing machinery that prevents their being, like me, the critics of their own lives and recognizing the stupidity and shallowness, the hopeless tragedy and waste of the lives they lead, and the awful ambiguity grinning over it all. –loc 837

Obeying is like eating and drinking. There’s nothing like it if you’ve been without it too long. Isn’t it so, you’re glad to do as I tell you?” –loc 985

How can you say that you’ve taken any trouble to live when you won’t even dance? –loc 1006

“Fine views of life, you have. You have always done the difficult and complicated things and the simple ones you haven’t even learned. No time, of course. More amusing things to do. Well, thank God, I’m not your mother. But to do as you do and then say you’ve tested life to the bottom and found nothing in it is going a bit too far.” –loc 1024

Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don’t mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.” –loc 1189

To be religious you must have time and, even more, independence of time. You can’t be religious in earnest and at the same time live in actual things and still take them seriously, time and money and the Odéon Bar and all that.” –loc 1252

But it’s a poor fellow who can’t take his pleasure without asking other people’s permission. –loc 1457

Any one could comprehend it and reach the same conclusion after a moment’s reflection. But nobody wants to. Nobody wants to avoid the next war, nobody wants to spare himself and his children the next holocaust if this be the cost. To reflect for one moment, to examine himself for a while and ask what share he has in the world’s confusion and wickedness–look you, nobody wants to do that. And so there’s no stopping it, and the next war is being pushed on with enthusiasm by thousands upon thousands day by day. –loc 1557

There are always a few such people who demand the utmost of life and yet cannot come to terms with its stupidity and crudeness.” –loc 1707

“In your case, for example, the spiritual part is very highly developed, and so you are very backward in all the little arts of living. Harry, the thinker, is a hundred years old, but Harry, the dancer, is scarcely half a day old. It’s he we want to bring on, and all his little brothers who are just as little and stupid and stunted as he is.” –loc 1723

“You’re a child. You were too lazy to learn to dance till it was nearly too late, and in the same way you were too lazy to learn to love. As for ideal and tragic love, that, I don’t doubt, you can do marvellously–and all honor to you. –loc 1749

“Well,” he said with equanimity, “you see, in my opinion there is no point at all in talking about music. I never talk about music. What reply, then, was I to make to your very able and just remarks? You were perfectly right in all you said. But, you see, I am a musician, not a professor, and I don’t believe that, as regards music, there is the least point in being right. Music does not depend on being right, on having good taste and education and all that.” –loc 1818

Then what does it depend on?”
“On making music, Herr Haller, on making music as well and as much as possible and with all the intensity of which one is capable. That is the point, Monsieur. Though I carried the complete works of Bach and Haydn in my head and could say the cleverest things about them, not a soul would be the better for it. But when I take hold of my mouthpiece and play a lively shimmy, whether the shimmy be good or bad, it will give people pleasure. It gets into their legs and into their blood. That’s the point and that alone. Look at the faces in a dance hall at the moment when the music strikes up after a longish pause, how eyes sparkle, legs twitch and faces begin to laugh. That is why one makes music.” –loc 1823

None of us intellectuals is at home in reality. We are strange to it and hostile. That is why the part played by intellect even in our own German reality, in our history and politics and public opinion, has been so lamentable a one. –loc 1878

The unhappiness that I need and long for is different. It is of the kind that will let me suffer with eagerness and lust after death. That is the unhappiness, or happiness, that I am waiting for.” –loc 2104

But sometimes when happiness leaves a moment’s leisure to look about me and long for things, the longing I have is not to keep this happiness forever, but to suffer once again, only more beautifully and less meanly than before. I long for the sufferings that make me ready and willing to die.” –loc 2114

You, Harry, have been an artist and a thinker, a man full of joy and faith, always on the track of what is great and eternal, never content with the trivial and petty. But the more life has awakened you and brought you back to yourself, the greater has your need been and the deeper the sufferings and dread and despair that have overtaken you, till you were up to your neck in them. And all that you once knew and loved and revered as beautiful and sacred, all the belief you once had in mankind and our high destiny, has been of no avail and has lost its worth and gone to pieces. Your faith found no more air to breathe. And suffocation is a hard death. –loc 2122

“You have a picture of life within you, a faith, a challenge, and you were ready for deeds and sufferings and sacrifices, and then you became aware by degrees that the world asked no deeds and no sacrifices of you whatever, and that life is no poem of heroism with heroic parts to play and so on, but a comfortable room where people are quite content with eating and drinking, coffee and knitting, cards and wireless. And whoever wants more and has got it in him–the heroic and the beautiful, and the reverence for the great poets or for the saints–is a fool and a Don Quixote. –loc 2129

And I knew that my dreams had been right a thousand times over, just as yours had been. It was life and reality that were wrong. –loc 2139

You are right, Steppenwolf, right a thousand times over, and yet you must go to the wall. You are much too exacting and hungry for this simple, easygoing and easily contented world of today. –loc 2146

You have a dimension too many. Whoever wants to live and enjoy his life today must not be like you and me. Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world of ours–” –loc 2148

Time and the world, money and power belong to the small people and the shallow people. To the rest, to the real men belongs nothing. Nothing but death.” –loc 2167

“It is a pleasure to me, my dear Harry, to have the privilege of being your host in a small way on this occasion. You have often been sorely weary of your life. You were striving, were you not, for escape? You have a longing to forsake this world and its reality and to penetrate to a reality more native to you, to a world beyond time. You know, of course, where this other world lies hidden. It is the world of your own soul that you seek. Only within yourself exists that other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself. I can throw open to you no picture gallery but your own soul. All I can give you is the opportunity, the impulse, the key. I can help you to make your own world visible. That is all.” –loc 2570

true humor begins when a man ceases to take himself seriously. –loc 2618

“Yes, there are indeed too many men in the world. In earlier days it wasn’t so noticeable. But now that everyone wants air to breathe, and a car to drive as well, one does notice it. –loc 2827

It is not a good thing when man overstrains his reason and tries to reduce to rational order matters that are not susceptible of rational treatment. Then there arise ideals such as those of the Americans or of the Bolsheviks. Both are extraordinarily rational, and both lead to a frightful oppression and impoverishment of life, because they simplify it so crudely. The likeness of man, once a high ideal, is in process of becoming a machine-made article. It is for madmen like us, perhaps, to ennoble it again.” –loc 2832

“This is the art of life,” he said dreamily. “You may yourself as an artist develop the game of your life and lend it animation. You may complicate and enrich it as you please. It lies in your hands. Just as madness, in a higher sense, is the beginning of all wisdom, so is schizomania the beginning of all art and all fantasy. –loc 2946

Life is always frightful. We cannot help it and we are responsible all the same. One’s born and at once one is guilty. You must have had a remarkable sort of religious education if you did not know that.” –loc 3173

All life is so, my child, and we must let it be so; and, if we are not asses, laugh at it. It little becomes people like you to be critics of radio or of life either. Better learn to listen first! Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest. Or is it that you have done better yourself, more nobly and fitly and with better taste? Oh, no, Mr. Harry, you have not. You have made a frightful history of disease out of your life, and a misfortune of your gifts. And you have, as I see, found no better use for so pretty, so enchanting a young lady than to stick a knife into her body and destroy her. Was that right, do you think?” –loc 3290

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Author: John le Carré
Rating: 7/10
Last Read: September 2016

Quick Summary:  I’m not normally one for spy or mystery novels.  The spy I read about and liked was Jason Bourne. I shared this and received a recommendation to read Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, claiming it would get me hooked. 

I can safely say after finishing the book that I didn’t really feel the pull.  The book was slow-paced and sometimes the writing left me confused as to what had transpired (mostly in the beginning). There was so much slow buildup, and the book just ended in a quick manner without much fuss.

I do think that George Smiley is a very interesting character, so I can see how one would want to read more about him. However, I won’t be continuing on.

My Highlights

Well, you can’t blame him, can you? You can’t blame a man for wanting a drop of peace in the evening of his life. I can’t.” –loc 425

“Living off the wits of his subordinates—well, maybe that’s leadership these days.” –loc 443

And now it was pouring with rain, Smiley was soaked to the skin, and God as a punishment had removed all taxis from the face of London. –loc 468

But Smiley had a second reason, which was fear, the secret fear that follows every professional to his grave. Namely, that one day, out of a past so complex that he himself could not remember all the enemies he might have made, one of them would find him and demand the reckoning. –loc 495

‘To possess another language is to possess another soul.’ –loc 927

That a man’s wealth should be counted by the number of his names! –loc 961

After a lifetime of living by his wits and his considerable memory, he had given himself full time to the profession of forgetting. –loc 1202

Patiently Smiley waited for the speck of gold, for Connie was of an age where the only thing a man could give her was time. –loc 1574

“An artist is a bloke who can hold two fundamentally opposing views and still function: who dreamed that one up?” –loc 2290

Sitting is an eloquent business; any actor will tell you that. We sit according to our natures. We sprawl and straddle, we rest like boxers between rounds, we fidget, perch, cross and uncross our legs, lose patience, lose endurance. Gerstmann did none of those things. His posture was finite and irreducible, his little jagged body was like a promontory of rock; he could have sat that way all day, without stirring a muscle. –loc 3068

“I often thought that. I even put it to Control: we should take the opposition’s cover stories more seriously, I said. The more identities a man has, the more they express the person they conceal.” The fifty-year-old who knocks five years off his age. The married man who calls himself a bachelor; the fatherless man who gives himself two children . . . Or the interrogator who projects himself into the life of a man who does not speak. Few men can resist expressing their appetites when they are making a fantasy about themselves.” –loc 3089

Survival, as Jim Prideaux liked to recall, is an infinite capacity for suspicion. –loc 4812

he wondered whether there was any love between human beings that did not rest upon some sort of self-delusion –loc 4985

He thought about treason and wondered whether there was mindless treason in the same way, supposedly, as there was mindless violence. –loc 4988

As an artist he had said all he had to say at the age of seventeen, and one had to do something with one’s later years. –loc 5319

Rules for a Knight

Author: Ethan Hawke (yes, the actor)
Rating: 7/10
Last Read: September 2016

Quick Summary:  Rules for a Knight is a short book is a collection of “knightly wisdom” told in short stories.  The overall book is framed as a letter from a knight to his children, sent on the eve of a battle from which he expects not to return.  The book is full of lessons from the Buddhist cannon – if you are familiar with other philosophical works, the stories will likely be very familiar to you.

When I re-read the passages I have highlighted, I realize that Rules for a Knight repeatedly speaks to the very things I am seeking.  There is much wisdom contained in these pages – it is a shame to realize I have blown through this book and have not spent time to reflect upon it.  How many other lessons have been ignored?

Pay attention: what you need to know is usually in front of you. There are no secrets, just things people choose not to notice.

My Highlights

For this I am most sad, but none of you children yet know me as anything but the tall person who scolds or encourages you, or as a voice talking to your mother as you fall asleep. I have worked too hard in the last ten years and traveled too much, and now it seems I may miss your childhoods entirely. This comes as a blow. I have been looking forward to your growing up and hoped that we could, over time, know one another in a more meaningful way. –loc 100

My grandfather set down two blue cups and poured some tea into the first, but he did not stop when the cup was full. He kept pouring and pouring until the hot tea spilled all over the table and splattered onto the floor.
“What are you doing?” I shouted, jumping up, hot tea scalding my legs.
“You are like that cup spilling over,” said my grandfather. “You cannot retain anything. There is too much going on and you are splashing everywhere, burning what you touch.”
–loc 125

Answers to your questions will come, but if you are not still and empty, you will never be able to retain anything. –loc 132

But the first thing you must understand is that you need not have gone anywhere. You are always in the right place at exactly the right time, and you always have been.” –loc 138

CREATE time alone with yourself. When seeking the wisdom and clarity of your own mind, silence is a helpful tool. The voice of our spirit is gentle and cannot be heard when it has to compete with others. Just as it is impossible to see your reflection in troubled water, so too is it with the soul. In silence, we can sense eternity sleeping inside us. –loc 151

Humility is the ability to see yourself in the context of a much larger world. –loc 184

The stars are magnificent. They are always there whether you see them or not. –loc 185

Aspire to be like the soil after the March rains, wet, open, and receptive. –loc 185

“When people speak, listen.” This was a point he would consistently stress. “As much as you like to be heard and understood, so does everyone else.” –loc 188

THE only intelligent response to the ongoing gift of life is gratitude. For all that has been, a knight says, “Thank you.” For all that is to come, a knight says, “Yes!” –loc 229

The quiet of each morning, the tangible bond of friendship, a snowball fight, warm water on your skin, laughing until your stomach hurts, a job well done, a shooting star that you witness alone; the simple joys are the great ones. Pleasure is not complicated. –loc 243

Constant awareness of even the smallest detail trains your mind to be observant and conscientious. –loc 264

Responsibility, awareness, and self-knowledge are his allies. Forgetfulness is his enemy. His mind is not in the future. He is fully engaged in what he is doing. –loc 265

I learned that evening that rain falls equally on all things. Jealousy, fear, and anger are obstacles to a knight’s first goal: a clear mind. Through his practice a knight should cultivate an open, unclouded mind, so that his instincts will guide him and he is free to act spontaneously. Understanding that our “talents” are simply gifts we have received brings humility to our actions. It also allows us to appreciate the “talents” we see in others as expressions from the same universal source. There are only two possible outcomes whenever you compare yourself to another, vanity or bitterness, and both are without value. –loc 310

THE quality of your life will, to a large extent, be decided by with whom you elect to spend your time. –loc 330

The skeptic shouted out, mocking the knight for believing that his ancient whispers and primitive style of healing could have any power. In front of all the townspeople, Sir Richard answered, “You are an ignorant fool.” The skeptic’s derision became angry. His face reddened, and his hands began to shake with humiliation and rage. Before the skeptic could gather himself to shout back or raise his fist in violence, Sir Richard spoke again. “When a few words have the power to make you so angry, why would others not have the power to heal?” –loc 342

Remember, a friend does not need you to impress him. A friend loves you because you are true to yourself, not because you agree with him. Beware of grand gestures; the real mettle of friendship is forged in life’s daily workings. –loc 350

A DISHONEST tongue and a dishonest mind waste time, and therefore waste our lives. We are here to grow, and the truth is the water, the light, and the soil from which we rise. The armor of falsehood is subtly wrought out of the darkness and hides us not only from others but from our own soul. –loc 389

Don’t fear suffering. The strongest steel is forged in the hottest fire. The facts are always friendly. Without a little agony, none of us would bother to learn a thing. The earth has to be tilled before the seeds can be planted. In much the same way, sometimes we have to be stirred and ripped apart so that the seeds of compassion, wisdom, and understanding can be firmly planted in us. –loc 407

Pay attention: what you need to know is usually in front of you. There are no secrets, just things people choose not to notice. –loc 427

Later he told me when he was younger he learned the secret to performing under pressure: don’t do it for yourself. Do it for someone else. “I know your grandfather always tells us to think of nothing. But when I get scared I just think of someone I love.” –loc 460

GRACE is the ability to accept change. Be open and supple; the brittle break. –loc 482

Young people, women and men, often use the possession of beauty or wealth as permission to be uninteresting, undisciplined, and ill-informed. If they are fortunate enough to reach the age of twenty-eight or so, they become like coddled coyotes. Cute when little, but, upon adulthood, nasty, fearful, and living off the scraps of others. –loc 497

All of us are asked to surrender the superficial beauty of youth and step towards something greater. We are being made ready for the spirit world. Each wrinkle is a crack in the shell of our conceit. Our conceit must be pulverized for the soul to fly. –loc 511

YOU were born owning nothing and with nothing you will pass out of this life. Be frugal and you can be generous. –loc 586

There have always been two ways to be rich: by accumulating vast sums or by needing very little. –loc 591

Often we imagine that we will work hard until we arrive at some distant goal, and then we will be happy. This is a delusion. Happiness is the result of a life lived with purpose. Happiness is not an objective. It is the movement of life itself, a process, and an activity. It arises from curiosity and discovery. Seek pleasure and you will quickly discover the shortest path to suffering. Other people, friends, brothers, sisters, neighbors, spouses, even your mother and I are not responsible for your happiness. Your life is your responsibility, and you always have the choice to do your best. Doing your best will bring happiness. Do not be overconcerned with avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. If you are concentrating on the results of your actions, you are not dedicated to your task. –loc 645

Be resolute in your beliefs, my children. Your friendship cannot be bought. –loc 673

Be cautious when anyone, even family, has too extreme an expectation from your behavior. Under the guise of love or loyalty, people can use guilt or fear to manipulate. A healthy conscience should be used like an internal compass: it is yours, not an instrument for others to play. –loc 673

A knight does not whine. He concerns himself with affecting change, not burdening the world with his grievances. –loc 716

In courtship, honesty is the first requisite. To achieve honesty, a knight must first be intimate with his own soul. This is difficult and takes time. Just as we all have secret thoughts and concerns inside ourselves, which we would share only with a person we value, respect, and trust, so too is it with the body. There are secret places that we need not share, which need not to be shared. –loc 866

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Rules for a Knight

By Ethan Hawke

 

The Afghan Campaign: A Novel

 

Author: Steven Pressfield
Rating: 8/10
Last Read: August 2016

Quick Summary:  This novel lies in the same vein as Pressfield’s other historical novels – the narrator is a minor character following a famous historical figure.  The narrator joins up with a band of mercenaries who are leaving to fight alongside Alexander in Afghanistan.  However, this novel spends significantly more time focusing on the horror of war and the acts of atrocities enacted by Alexander’s troops.  It is a stark picture of human nature, but the descriptions ring true to the stories of war shared by my friends.  

I think it is an important thing to remember that war is not full of glory – only death, loss, and destruction.

“What’s wrong, you fuck,” answers Lucas, “is that words have meanings. People believe the bucketwash you put out. They think that’s how it is, particularly young men, who are suckers for tales of glamour and glory. You have an obligation to tell them the truth.”

My Highlights

Why do soldiers drink? To keep from thinking, says Flag. If you think, you start to fear. –loc 505

It is simultaneously extraordinary and appalling to see how efficiently our Macks work this. They slaughter an entire male household with barely a sound, so swiftly that the wives and infants are cast into dumbstruck shock. It is the kill of wolves or lions, the cold kill of predation. It is work. –loc 575

A soldier who cannot be counted on by his mates is more dangerous than an enemy. –loc 601

When a new man is initiated into the confederacy of murderers, his seniors make him commit the same crime they have. Now he is as guilty as they. He cannot turn on them. He is one of them. –loc 659

Fear, men say, is the most primal emotion. I don’t believe it. Shame is. My feeling as Tollo bolts past after the foe is one of joy and relief, that my senior sergeant has seen me take down my man, however clumsily, and profound release that my humiliation from the village has been at least partly effaced. –loc 687

“Perhaps, Matthias,” Stephanos says, “you and I might profit, in an alien land, by suspension of judgment.” –loc 1157

“Each precept of wisdom you gain,” says Ash, “bears you farther from God.” –loc 1163

“Take a war-name, Matthias. It solves a lot of problems.” –loc 1180

“You know,” Stephanos says, “I’ve taken to you from the start, Matthias. Shall I tell you why?”
“Because,” says Flag, “he never shuts up.”
“Because he asks questions.”
“That’s his problem.”
“And one day he might get answers.”
–loc 1203

The view of life is that of a noble resignation to fate. God determines all, the Afghan believes. One can do nothing except be a man and bear up. –loc 1354

Stephanos cheers the men by predicting victory in Bactria. We’ll catch Bessus and Spitamenes, he swears, with their bollocks in the breeze. Why? “Because they’re men of intelligence. It’s beyond their imagination to believe that anyone in their right salt-sucking mind would cross these mountains at this season.” –loc 1409

We hear no more talk of mutiny. Porters trek tight beside us. We will live or die together. This is the way peril overhauls you. One hand’s-breadth at a time. Suddenly you’re in it. –loc 1447

It takes Flag pummeling me with both elbows (he can no longer feel his hands) before I understand our Color Sergeant is dead. “He was croaked at the bottom,” Flag declares. I’m furious. Why didn’t Flag tell me? He has made us break our backs. But I am in awe of him too. My God, what a soldier! What a friend. –loc 1569

The crime I have committed, Elihu explains, is called in Dari al satwa. The Hebrews have a term for it, too—tol davi. It means to bring shame upon someone by performing an act of responsibility that they have failed to perform themselves. –loc 1703

“Why can’t you tell it straight?” Lucas demands.
Costas replies that the public only wants certain kinds of stories. There’s no demand for the other kind.
“You mean the true kind,” says Lucas.
–loc 1904

Costas defends himself. What does he, or any correspondent, want? “Just to acquire a modest name, sail home bearing tales of distant lands, and offer them for readings and recitals. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong, you fuck,” answers Lucas, “is that words have meanings. People believe the bucketwash you put out. They think that’s how it is, particularly young men, who are suckers for tales of glamour and glory. You have an obligation to tell them the truth.” –loc 1908

God, what a stench when a man’s guts are opened to the air. That doesn’t go into your dispatches, does it? We read nothing about the sound the ‘follow-on’ makes, going down the line of throat-slit men with a club, bashing skulls like walnuts, while the still-living men pray without voices or curse us in gurgling blood or plead for their lives. The silent ones are the scariest. Men with guts. Better men than we are.” –loc 1926

Can you defend the massacres we enact, Flag? Is this Macedonian honor?”
Our sergeant’s lips decline into a dark smile. “There is no honor in war, my friend. Only in poems of war.
–loc 1933

“Does a lion hesitate? Does an eagle hold back? What is the call of a gallant heart, except to aspire to mighty deeds? –loc 1946

The fellow possessed that quality, innate to all born commanders, of focused and dominating intention. –loc 2245

And, for both of us, the terror of death. “If I die,” he tells me when we stop the first night, “don’t let the army cook up some phony story. Tell my people what really happened.”
As for my own end, I make no such scruple. “Tell ’em the biggest-balled lie you can think of.”
–loc 2305

hear that the solitudes of the Scythians are made fun of in Greek proverbs, but we seek after places that are desert rather than cities and rich fields. Why? For freedom! Rather would we dine on coarse meal at liberty than feast on honeyed cakes in chains.” –loc 2457

“Great trees are long in growing but fall in a single hour. Even the lion has been made food for the smallest of birds, and rust consumes iron. Therefore tell your king to hold his fortune with tight hands; she is slippery and cannot be confined against her will. –loc 2469

But if he is a mortal man, let him remember his place in the scheme of the Almighty. For what indeed is madness, save to recall those things that make one forget himself?” –loc 2472

“I always imagined that hard experience would make you stronger and less afraid. But it’s the opposite. It undermines you because you know how vulnerable you are and how bad things can get.” –loc 2617

The instrument of counterguerrilla warfare is the massacre. Its object is terror, to make oneself an object of such dread that the foe fears to face you ever. This practice has worked for the army of Macedon across all Asia. It does not work here. The Afghan is so proud, so inured to privation, and so in love with liberty that he prefers death to capitulation. –loc 2943

“They say a man becomes old,” he says, “when more of his friends reside beneath the earth than above it.” –loc 3175

“To be a soldier,” he says, “is no lofty calling. Who acts as a brute is a brute.” –loc 3179

“This is what war is,” says Alexander. “Glory has fled. One searches in vain for honor. We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of. Even victory, as Aeschylus says, in whose august glow all felonies are effaced, is not the same in this war. What remains? To prevent the needless waste of lives. Too many good men have perished without cause. More will join them if we don’t make this peace now.” –loc 3661

“I know, dear child, that you believe heaven has turned its back on you. Perhaps that was so, once. But all things turn in their season. Not even as cruel a deity as that of this pitiless land can remain unmoved forever by his people’s affliction. The proof grows now in your belly. Your suffering has redeemed you, Shinar. God holds out his hand. Take it, I beg you. Can any act be more impious than to spurn the clemency of heaven?” –loc 3854

What is money for anyway? Only to get what you need—or keep away what you dread. –loc 4004

Ready Player One

Author: Ernest Cline
Rating: 7/10
Last Read: August 2015

Quick Summary:  The book takes place in a dystopian future and follows a group of teens on their adventures through a virtual reality world (you see, there was a theme when I was reading Snow Crash). A gazillionaire dies and leaves his fortune to the person who can complete his crazy VR puzzle involving 80s games and other fun nerd-culture references.  The young mighty fat VR-addicted hero takes on a big corporation to win the prize.

My Highlights

To quote the Almanac: “People who live in glass houses should shut the fuck up.”

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
—Groucho Marx

No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful.

Snow Crash

Author: Cheryl Strayed
Rating: 7/10
Last Read: August 2015

Quick Summary:  The book takes place in a dystopian future and follows two hackers in their adventures in virtual reality and real life as they try to crack the mystery of “snow crash”, a new drug being sold in the virtual world.  Along the way, a variety of themes are hit upon: religion, memetics, linguistics, and computer sciencey stuff.  Definitely a good read for the tech crowd, even if it’s a bit long winded.

My Highlights

But if life were a mellow elementary school run by well-meaning education Ph.D.s, the Deliverator’s report card would say: “Hiro is so bright and creative but needs to work harder on his cooperation skills.”

Pooning a bimbo box takes more skill than a ped would ever imagine

I don’t know how my face conveyed that information, or what kind of internal wiring in my grandmother’s mind enabled her to accomplish this incredible feat. To condense fact from the vapor of nuance.”

class is more than income—it has to do with knowing where you stand in a web of social relationships.

They pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of the people they are talking to. And that’s how they know what’s going on inside a person’s head—by condensing fact from the vapor of nuance.

it’s the first function of any organization to control its own sphincters.

I used to read that story when I was a kid and wonder who the hell these guys were, on Crete, that everyone else was so scared of them that they would just meekly give up their children to be eaten, every year. They must have been some mean sons of bitches.

Besides, interesting things happen along borders—transitions—not in the middle where everything is the same.

“Ever think of introducing yourself?” Y.T. says.
“Nah,” he says, “people always forget names. You can just think of me as that one guy, y’know?”

“Wait a minute, Juanita. Make up your mind. This Snow Crash thing—is it a virus, a drug, or a religion?”
Juanita shrugs. “What’s the difference?”

In many Creation myths, to name a thing is to create it.

“See, the world is full of things more powerful than us. But if you know how to catch a ride, you can go places,” Raven says.

Assassin’s Apprentice

Author: Robin Hobb
Rating: 6/10
Last Read: August 2010

Quick Summary: An outcast bastard son of a prince is secretly trained to be an assassin from a young age.  The book follows him though his childhood and training, culminating in his first mission. The book is a pretty good fantasy read: interesting characters, internal struggles, and political scheming abound.  A book for those who like Arya’s character in A Song of Ice and Fire

I did not continue on with the series.

My Highlights

The group of onlookers was growing. A few showed pity in their eyes, but none interfered. Some of what I was feeling passed to Nosy, who dropped over onto his side and showed his belly in supplication while thumping his tail in that ancient canine signal that always means, “I’m only a puppy. I cannot defend myself. Have mercy.” Had they been dogs, they would have sniffed me over and then drawn back. But humans have no such inbred courtesies.

“There is this, boy. And you should remember it in every situation, not just this one. Learning is never wrong. Even learning how to kill isn’t wrong. Or right. It’s just a thing to learn, a thing I can teach you.

“I’m not a real prince. I’m a bastard.” It came oddly from my mouth, that word I heard so often and so seldom said. Burrich sighed softly.
“Be your blood, boy, and ignore what anyone else thinks of you.”
“Sometimes I get tired of doing the hard things.”
“So do I.”

“You don’t know that. You only hear what the gossips say. You aren’t old enough to understand some things. You’ve never seen a wild bird lure predators away from its young by pretending to be injured.”
“I don’t believe that,” I said, but I suddenly felt less confident saying it. “He never did anything to make me think he cared about me.”
Chade turned to look at me and his eyes were older, sunken and red.
“If you had known he’d cared, so would others. When you are a man, maybe you’ll understand just how much that cost him. To not know you in order to keep you safe. To make his enemies ignore you.”
“Well, I’ll “not know’ him to the end of my days, now,” I said sulkily.